Guest Post

Recently, I did a little informal research. I asked HSPs in my online community to share with me what they felt they really wanted more of in their lives. While the answers varied to some degree, the one common thread that was repeated over and over again was the desire to feel more peace. While this can be a challenge for everyone, HSPs can be particularly susceptible to the effects of stress, so it is even more important for us to be conscientious with regard to healthy self-care and the need to build and maintain our resilience. So as I pondered how to share some simple yet powerful strategies to do just that, an acronym came to me to help us to increase our PEACE. Hopefully, this will help you to remember what you can do at those times you feel like you are just surviving to shift to feeling empowered and thriving.

P- Processing time

As HSPs, we take in more information than the 80-85% of the population who are non-HSPs. This information comes from our finely tuned senses. We pick up on subtleties that go unnoticed by the majority of people. We are more emotionally responsive to what we take in and have an inborn preference to process it all more deeply. No wonder we can get overstimulated and overwhelmed. We absolutely need daily downtime to process all this data and to reset our sensitive nervous systems to prevent the burden of overload. From my own personal experience and from observing what my coaching clients have gone through, I believe this can present the greatest challenge to us as HSPs IF we don’t give ourselves the time and space we need for solitude and silence. 

E - Enjoy Life More

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself taking just about everything way too seriously. On top of that, throw in my need to live a meaningful life of service contributing to the greater good of humanity and the planet. Oh, and wait…I am also super conscientious and want to do my very best to avoid mistakes - AKA I’m a perfectionist. I think you get the point and I have a feeling you can relate. So, what’s “the answer?” For me, it’s intentionally cultivating more joy in my life. While that may sound like the easiest thing in the world to allow to unfold naturally, it doesn’t necessarily work that way. There are days that I have to imagine putting on my rose colored glasses so I can go out into the world and look for the good. This is not surprising considering the combination of the current state of affairs in all forms of media driven by the mantra “if it bleeds it leads” and our brain’s own negativity bias which was designed for our survival, but today can be triggered 24/7 so we can end up feeling like we’re stuck in survival mode. In fact, that’s why Julie Bjelland set up The Sensitive Empowerment Community as a safe space to gather with like-minded souls to share and grow without all the drama. (Click here for more information regarding membership to this beautiful, uplifting community.) We have to seek out the joy in life wherever we can find it. The best part of cultivating joy for me is finding it not only in amazing experiences like getaways and retreats, but mostly realizing daily joy in the little things like enjoying a cup of tea and an inspiring book, listening to the HSP Podcast, or taking a walk in nature to soothe and refresh my mind, body, and spirit all at once. That’s my kind of multitasking! You see, joy is available to us; we just need to know where to find it and stop long enough to notice and take it in.

A - Accommodate and Accentuate Your Trait

As a Holistic Wellness Life Coach and Hypnotherapist, this is the area that I most help my clients to make a top priority. Once you have acknowledged and accepted that you are an HSP, that’s when the real fun and work begins. In the words of Socrates, now it’s time to “Know thyself” and even more importantly to love yourself. Before you learn that you are an HSP, life can be pretty confusing and downright distressing. Perhaps, like me, you were plagued by questions like, “Why can’t I keep up?” “Why am I so different?” “Why can’t I just fit in?” In other words, “What is wrong with me?” While it is indeed a relief to find out that there’s nothing wrong with you and that you have a beautiful gift to share with the world, you may not be feeling up to the task. That’s where the need to accommodate your trait comes in before you can accentuate it. 

Being a Highly Sensitive Person isn’t a problem unless you make it more challenging than necessary by not giving yourself what you need to feel your best, even if those needs are different than the needs of those around you - and that includes other HSPs as well. For example, in order to feel my best, I follow a whole food plant-based diet. My place of peace is the woods. My favorite way to relax is to cuddle with my cat on the couch. You get the idea. You may feel best eating a raw food diet, sitting near the water, and going on long runs with your dog. That’s ok. Learn what works FOR YOU - and do that. No comparison. No judgment. As you become more aware of your needs and how to accommodate them to feel your best, that’s when you can work to accentuate your trait and find out how to share it with the world. Clearly our passion and our purpose, whatever it may be, stems from our sensitivity and is much needed now more than ever. Build the calm and confidence you need to shine.

C - Calm Yourself

I cannot begin to stress the importance of learning the tools and techniques that you need in order to prevent overstimulation and to recover from those times when you find yourself overwhelmed. For me, this means learning our own optimal level of stimulation and spending as much time in that relaxed state as possible to teach our sensitive nervous systems what it feels like to be calm and balanced. It also means to purposefully set aside time to practice eliciting the relaxation response through whatever means best suits your body, mind, and spirit. Some of the best and most common ways to do so are through breathwork, meditation, gentle yoga, and visualization. While these can all be done independently, you may find that sometimes it is preferable for you to be guided in your experience. In fact, as a Holistic Wellness Life Coach working with my HSP clients, relaxation, meditation, and guided imagery are part of every session and have been likened to “A Spa for the Soul.” Please visit the Nurture U Life Coaching website for more information and to receive a complimentary copy of my SIMPLE Meditation Process as a way to enjoy more calm in your life.

E -  Eradicate Negative, Limiting Beliefs

As a Highly Sensitive Person  myself, I venture to say that you too have been given some rather unhelpful, and even quite destructive messages and advice regarding your trait. These may have been conveyed to you directly as the dreaded proclamation that “you're too sensitive” or from your experience of feeling “different” therefore concluding that you are somehow defective or deficient in comparison to societal norms. Let’s face it - unless we were raised in ideal environments and are surrounded by people who are supportive and fully understand the HSP trait, our self-esteem is going to get rather bruised along the way, and in some cases feel as if it has been downright pummeled. No wonder we can struggle at times with self love and self compassion! 

Thankfully, there are many wonderful traditional and alternative therapies that can help you to address and release limiting, negative beliefs about yourself, your trait, and your capabilities. I learned the importance of this early on in my experience as a coach. I would work with clients who wanted to make a change, but kept getting stuck and appeared to be unable to move forward. That's when I knew I needed another way to be of help and I decided to get certified as a hypnotherapist. Hypnosis and hypnotherapy are powerfully effective tools for healing and transformation, especially if facilitated by an HSP for HSPs. 

So there you have it - 5 ways to increase your peace as an HSP with a handy acronym that I hope will help you remember the steps you can take to continue to move in that direction and to get back on track as needed. Please remember: Peace is not a destination, but rather an on-going journey of a lifetime. The more we can embrace and accept this perspective of growth as a perpetual process, the better off I believe we all will be. May you keep choosing peace.

Mary Ellen Ott, M.Ed. is a Holistic Wellness Life Coach and Hypnotherapist. It is her passion, purpose, and privilege to empower HSPs to feel more calm and balanced, experience more joy, have more energy, and even more fun by building or restoring a strong foundation of holistic self-care and learning to tap into the power of the mind body spirit connection in the process of change. Visit the Nurture U Life Coaching website for more information or to schedule a complimentary one on one Self Care Energy Audit or to request a Discovery Call.