Guest Post

For some Highly Sensitive People (HSP), there is a constant pressure to strive for perfection, and the feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, self-criticism, and anxiety that come with it can be overwhelming. It’s so painful to feel like you're never quite measuring up, and it can be hard to find peace within yourself when you're constantly chasing an unattainable ideal.

But I want you to know you are not alone in this struggle! Many HSPs, including myself, have struggled with the pressure to be perfect and accompanying feelings of self-doubt and anxiety. My heart goes out to you! And I also want to share that these feelings do not define you-you are worthy of love and acceptance just as you are, imperfections and all.

In this post, I'll share transformative tools that have helped me and my clients release perfectionism and embrace our unique gifts; by the end, you will have the opportunity to create a simple but intentional Peace Over Perfect Plan to help you navigate the next steps.

Tool #1: The Pathway Back To Love Process

 Several years back, I noticed an inner voice channel through me when I became overcome with anxiety and self-doubt after receiving negative feedback from a colleague.  Despite the surge of difficult emotions rising up from within, this inner voice reminded me that I am love and that, in truth, these painful emotions are only a wave in the ocean of who I am, with an added reminder to be compassionate with myself, which caused a deep peace to well up from within.

This simple three-step process has profoundly impacted my life, and I feel incredibly grateful to have shared it with hundreds of people worldwide who have also found peace and transformation through it as well. Over time, I added in a few elements, such as visualizing light as you state, “I am love,” and placing your hand over your heart.  The Pathway Back To Love Process is a valuable tool to reconnect with your authentic self whenever you feel disconnected. Whether you're striving, doubting your efforts, or grappling with the aftermath of a mistake, this process can gently guide you toward a place of self-acceptance and personal growth. Its power lies in its ability to bring about positive change and support you through life’s most challenging moments :

I invite you to try this process with your hand on your heart: 

1. Imagine breathing in the bright white, golden state, "I am Love." 

2. State to yourself, "This is only a wave in the ocean of who I am." 

3. State to yourself, "This hurts, but I choose to open my heart and love myself through this." 

Tool #2: Externalizing The Perfectionist Part Of You

Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy has been an incredibly powerful approach in my personal journey of healing perfectionism, and I've witnessed its transformative impact on my clients as well.  This therapeutic modality offers a unique and insightful perspective on the internal dynamics of our minds, helping us understand and work with different parts of ourselves. According to IFS, we all have different sub-personalities or "parts" within us, each with its own unique thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. These parts often play different roles, such as protectors or wounded parts. IFS focuses on establishing a harmonious relationship among these parts by fostering self-leadership and self-compassion. By acknowledging and engaging with these parts in a safe and non-judgmental manner, you can gain insight and experience a more balanced, integrative sense of self. 

One of the aspects of myself that used to cause me distress was my Perfectionist, who also showed up as being highly critical. This part consistently subjected me to covert self-judgment and criticism, such as "What were you thinking?" or "Why did you do that?" These internal messages only served to reinforce feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt. 

Through the process of externalizing this critical part, I embarked on a journey of compassionate self-exploration. I engaged in heartfelt conversations with this part, approaching it from a place of spaciousness and understanding within my own heart. This allowed me to gain a deeper insight into its underlying motivations and intentions. During this exploration, I discovered that this critical Perfectionist part was simply attempting to protect me from potential hurt or rejection. However, I realized that its methods were no longer serving me in a positive way. With this newfound understanding, I consciously chose to integrate this part into my whole self.

By intentionally shifting my internal dialogue, I began to replace self-criticism with self-compassion. I consciously selected affirming statements such as "I am doing the best I can," "It's okay to make mistakes; they do not define my worth," and "I choose to love and accept myself unconditionally." These self-compassionate statements became anchors of support and encouragement, allowing me to release the need for perfection and embrace the beauty of my imperfections.

I experienced a profound sense of liberation and acceptance through this transformative journey. I cultivated a newfound sense of self-compassion, fostering a healthier and more harmonious relationship with myself. Integrating and embracing all parts of myself has created a more compassionate and nurturing inner landscape, enabling me to navigate life's challenges with much more grace and resilience.

Consider what the Perfectionist or Critic within you sounds like; what is its voice? What is your relationship like with this part? Ultimately, This understanding will become part of your Peace Over Perfect Plan. 

Tool #3: Access Your Akashic Records for Core Wound Healing 

The Akashic Records are an ethereal realm where the memories, emotions, and wisdom of our past, present, and future lives are stored. It's like accessing the ultimate source of knowledge and insight, where we can tap into the profound wisdom of our Soul.

Accessing your Akashic Records can provide profound insights to help you heal your core inner child wounds, uncover your unique gifts as an HSP, and discover your Soul's purpose. By gaining insight into my Soul's journey in my Akashic Records, I learned how to embrace my sensitivity and see it as a gift to positively impact the world by sharing how our essence is love. 

The Akashic Records offer a unique opportunity to connect with the most powerful aspects of our being, including the wounded inner child. Within these records lie the memories and experiences that have shaped our inner child's perception of the world and its wounds- and we gain valuable insights into the root causes of our inner child's wounds. This deeper understanding allows us to bring compassion, love, and healing to those wounded aspects of ourselves that may still be carrying pain, limiting beliefs, and unresolved emotions.

Throughout my search for the most potent psychotherapy and spiritual healing tools, what I have found to be the most profound form of healing the inner child is a combination of using The Back To Love Process, healing our sub-personalities, and entering the Records for what I call the Akashic Core Wound Healing Method- which helps you access the power deep within and a magical pathway to healing inner child wounds. Through this method, you can begin healing your core wound and discover your unique gifts.

Discover your #1 Core Wound: https://one-awakening.involve.me/corewoundquiz

After you identify your Core Wound, Here is the Akashic Core Wound Healing Meditation: https://www.oneawakening.us/HSP-Akashic-Meditation

Peace Over Perfection Plan 

I invite you to complete your plan following this template:

The name of my sub-personality is ___________________ (perfectionist, critic, achiever, striver, etc.)

I visualize this part to look something like ______________________ (a cartoon character/movie character you know, animal, object, etc.)

This part says _________________________ (its voice, what it says in your mind)

This part lives in this part of my body _________________________ (where I feel stress or tension the most, where intuitively this part shows up)

I will use the Pathway Back to Love Process when ________________________ (times of striving, pushing yourself, burning out, feeling unworthy, etc.) and will keep it ____________________ (somewhere you will remember to use it)

I will carve out 1 hour for myself to try the Akashic Core Wound Meditation on _________________________ (day/time/place) and journal my experience. 

I choose PEACE over perfection. 

My dear friend, in summary, you are incredibly deserving of love and acceptance. You are a beautiful Soul and truly unique. I encourage you to treat yourself with kindness, compassion, and understanding and to celebrate your strengths and achievements, no matter how small they may seem. May your journey be filled with love, joy, and an abundance of self-compassion!

Amie Dean is a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional and Awakening Transformation Coach specializing in high sensitivity. Her Awakened Living Community and online courses have helped hundreds of empaths and HSPs break free of the four core wounds hindering their growth in their spirituality, relationships, work/career, and life purpose. She guides them to fully align with their Higher Selves to awaken their true essence and live meaningfully while sharing their gifts with the world.

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Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is an HSP Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, and founder of the exceptionally ranked Sensitive Empowerment Community. Julie's HSP Podcast is among the top 5% of the most shared and followed worldwide. Her online courses and free resources have helped millions of HSPs reduce the challenges of living with sensitivity, and her greatest joy lies in helping HSPs discover their significant value to the world. Julie's brain training program has proven to reduce anxiety within the first two weeks. Explore all her resources at JulieBjelland.com