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Guilt and shame tend to be a big problem for HSPs. 

For the purposes of this episode, we are going to discuss this in relation to the trait of high sensitivity. 

Guilt Culprits: We often try to please people. We don’t want to experience their disappointment. We try to do the right thing. We might feel guilty for setting boundaries, taking alone time, or needing to do things differently. 

Shame culprits: Most of us have been told our whole lives that something is wrong with us for being “too sensitive” so we often walk around with shame about who we are.

What HSPs shared from the community…

• Guilt about being an inconvenience to family and others when we have to ask for needs that are different from the majority, having to overly explain when we have to say 'no' because others don't understand, needing alone time more frequently which may hurt those we love and being tired more often than not without the energy others can manage

• Guilt around boundaries with certain family that’s toxic

• Shame for not being stoic and letting things impact me emotionally. 

• I was made fun of for being sensitive as a kid.  Called a cry baby. 

• Guilt pops up when I have to cancel plans or ask for special accommodations. 

• I have a pretty narrow window of comfort. Hot/cold, smells and odors, noises, fix that faucet, why does that appliance sound like that?

• Hearing…“She always has to have her way.” 

• Shame for showing/revealing how sensitive we are. 

• Shame around accepting my sensitivity around others who are different than us and not showing all my emotions including my tears because of feeling embarrassed that I am to much or "too sensitive "

• Feeling embarrassed about needing to do things differently, but especially when I have to ask someone else to accommodate my need, like asking someone to not wear fragrances when we are together or asking a coworker to not use artificial scents because that negatively affects me. 

• Shame for being able to pick up on people’s energies, I learned not to share my insights because people would say I was jumping to conclusions or that I had no evidence to explain how I felt. It made me seriously question myself. 

Guilt and shame are exhausting and drain our energy. If we take alone time to restore but we feel guilty when we do it then we don’t restore. It even zaps us of our energy!  

If we feel shame about who we are we have a hard time putting ourselves out into the world and deeply connecting to who we really are and finding our life purpose. 

If struggling with family…

• For those that are staying in your life: Educate about the trait and your needs in a matter of fact positive empowering way 

• For those you are releasing for your well-being: Sending loving energy from a distance can help 

Ways to intentionally let go of guilt and shame

1. Acknowledge, normalize and validate your experiences

2. Learn about your positive gifts within this trait of high sensitivity. 

3. Practice self-compassion for the hard feelings as it helps us feel more resilient too

4. Set boundaries. Redirect to internal focus. Remind yourself why you had to set that boundary or say no and remember your inner child’s needs.

5. Know that when we give up our needs we don’t thrive and that’s not good for anyone. Your needs are not less important than other people's needs. 

6. Shift your mindset. It’s not possible to “please” anyone. That’s not our job, that’s their job.

7. Surround yourself with people who support you and limit or let go of those that don’t. Know that this community supports you! ❤️

8. Be intentional and give time to consciously shift

9. Seek out support from an HSP Psychotherapist who can be a great source of support to guide us through the deep parts. Check out the HSP Practitioners Directory!

10. Keep practicing! The more you practice the easier it is to release the guilt and shame.

Have you registered for my Free Masterclasses?

1. High Sensitivity and Anxiety

2. How to Set Boundaries and Why it’s Essential for Wellness as HSPs

3. HSP Tools to Thrive in a Chaotic World

4. Reach Financial Freedom Growing a Heart-Centered Online Business You Love ​​​