Guest Article

Even before birthing your child, you are forever connected. My daughter is nearing 40, and I’m finally learning how to honor my boundaries while appreciating her.

I am a highly sensitive person. My daughter is anything but —she’s bold, busy, and adventurous, tolerates noxious fumes, and has the stamina of a racehorse. It’s been a challenge over these decades to try and not “dim her light” to match mine.

I wrestled with this disparity until I discovered HSP therapist Julie Bjelland’s online courses. Her Sensitivity Quiz confirmed that I scored high on the HSP scale with a strong level of empathy. I learned that HSP empaths often feel others’ pain. We tend to get stressed easily, blame ourselves if someone is disappointed, and abandon our own needs to care for others. All of these are often triggered when we are a Mom.

Seeking ways to manage and cope, I enrolled in Bjelland’s online Brain Training course which gave me valuable tools for coping and thriving as a highly sensitive person. These are some of the self-preservation tools I’ve implemented with my adult child:

1. Texting is good/GREAT actually! - Your child’s big energy can be contained in a few words and you can respond when your “tank” is full.

2. Schedule phone or video chats.  

3. Limit your interaction, setting a time frame in advance.

4. When you are offered a manicure (in a volatile smelling salon), invite her to apply the nail polish outside or opt for sharing a non-odorous experience.

5. Ask for what you need/want to help your child learn how to honor you.
   

Shifting my brain, I’ve also implemented these self-love actions:

1. Let go of guilt. Stop beating yourself up for not standing out in the freezing rain while your daughter played soccer in the mud when she was 10 (or any past self-preservation actions).

2. Celebrate the ways you chose to care for yourself in the past and present.

3. Tune in to your needs.

4. Don’t envy the 80% who are not highly sensitive (they have their issues, too, without all of your gifts).
   

Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!  And Happy Day to our daughters and sons who make it possible for us to celebrate this precious lifetime role. 

How do you preserve your energy and sanity as an HSP Mom?  What is your score on the Sensitivity Quiz?

Christine Grace Magnussen is an HSP mother and Master Certified Health Coach who coaches HSPs and others in living a thriving HSP lifestyle through self-celebration. Visit her at: YourVitalityCoach.com

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Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Register for free Masterclasses, get a free guide to calm your brain, a letter to give your medical and mental health practitioners about high sensitivity and take the Sensitivity Quiz at JulieBjelland.com ❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)