By Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Many highly sensitive people (HSPs) and empaths struggle to be around someone who is upset, angry, or otherwise radiating negative energy. Sometimes just walking into an environment where someone has been angry or upset can make an HSP instantly feel bad. We all have an energy field around us, and sensitive people can feel what others feel more deeply and fully than 80 percent of the population.1 Part of the reason we feel so deeply is that we have more activation in our brain mirror neurons,2 and, therefore, can literally fire the same neurons as someone we are observing, making it feel as if we are experiencing the emotion ourselves. This can be a wonderful feeling when we are around loving, positive energy, but difficult when we are around angry or negative energy. 

Do you have trouble distinguishing your energy from others? Absorbing energy from other people can be exhausting and difficult and impact your well-being. If you are very high on the sensitivity scale, it can even impact your health, so it’s important to learn how to release it.3 There are several methods you can use to release someone else’s energy. 

I asked this question to a group of HSPs, and here are some of their responses:

When exposed to someone with negative energy, how do you clear it and reground yourself? 

• First, I use self-compassion to validate and normalize how I’m feeling. Second, I become curious about why I’m identifying the energy as negative. I look for the lesson in the situation. It often helps to choose one negative thought and replace it with 5 positives. Journaling and discussing it can be therapeutic, too.

• A walk in nature, meditating, and a creative activity help change my mindset.

• Breathe in white light, exhale tension and negativity, get outside and take off my shoes, let the negativity drain into the earth.

• Now that I know about this trait, it is much easier to cope. I rub good quality Juniper oil on my palms, smell it, and breathe deeply. Lift my arms above the head, and lower slowly, feeling the grounding energy. Repeat in the 4 directions. It helps me tremendously.

• Watch a funny show, imagine repeatedly cutting a cord between myself and that person, look at ferns/moss/trees, burn a sage smudge bundle.

• I use several ways: I shut my eyes. Breathe, especially a long exhale but slowly. I do the Six Healing Sounds. I tell myself the mettas "May I be calm," or like "May we have harmony," etc. I say them over and over to myself or out loud. 

• I write how I feel or draw anything I'm feeling. When I have a massage, my therapist fans (swishes) her hands over close to my body to get rid of the negative energy. It seems to help. The massage itself helps get rid of negative energy, and so does exercise and/or yoga. 

• White sage.

• I listen to meditation or quiet serene music.

• By crying, by writing, and discussing with a friend.

• To go for a hike with my dog and then be alone in my safe space (my room, my sanctuary, I have created for myself!) 

• Listen to peaceful piano music with my headphones on (to block out the/any background noise). 

• I imagine a white/luminescent light covered my whole body and not accepting the negative energy (blocking/bouncing off the light surrounding and protecting me). 

• I place my left hand over my heart and my right hand over my belly, and I take deep breaths—coming back into the present moment as much as possible. The self-compassion makes me realize it’s okay that I have taken on negative energy, but I no longer need to hold on and grip to never let it go—it doesn’t belong to me, and that’s okay. 

• I try to refocus and also enjoy using some essential oil blends that I find are helpful. 

• I will journal to stop the negativity from swirling around my mind continually.

• I try to spend time with others that lift me up mentally as soon as possible afterward. 

• I use centering yoga poses and take as much time as I need in each pose. 

• I work on a knitting project where I can enjoy the feel and color of the yarn and the beauty and rhythm of the stitches and just get lost concentrating on that. 

• Get outside. Even if I’m only sitting on my back steps with my face to the sky. Listening to the birds. Soon I am lost to the wonder of nature.

• I use a variety of methods. In my experience, what has been a big help is first to know what is mine and what is another's energy. I learned this from learning to be grounded. This taught me to discern where my energy field begins and ends. 

• A big help for me has been using flower essences. I have a bottle of space clearing and will mist my auric field, my bedroom when I wake and before I go to sleep. Sometimes I will even put the combination drops in my bathwater. 

• I set the intention of bringing my energy in and sending others back to where it belongs, being mindful of my language, and calling it dense energy rather than negative so I don't get caught up in fear thoughts. 

• I sometimes do visualization and run new energy or clear energy through me like a shower of rain. 

• Turn my attention to focus on something light and uplifting.

• Prayer, singing, crying, cleaning.

• I tend to go for a walk alone, talk to a supportive trusted friend, journal, meditate, practice affirmations, listen to positive music, watch positive and inspiring media.

• I wash it away using one of three techniques depending on where I am: 1) Use physical water (showering, washing my hands or face, or drinking it) while reciting a clearing mantra, 2) Use a mental image of being under a waterfall (while reciting mantra), 3) Say the ho'oponopono prayer.

• Essentials oils; identify it as not mine. Create a mental shield and block it out.

• I light up some sage, mindfully go around in my room with it, then pass the smoke over me, then meditate on my emotions, and then with audio to release the energy.

• I immediately fall back to my strengths and think about or participate in the things that bring me joy and peace and raise my vibration above the negativity—for me, that is nature, art, reading, other creative pursuits, cooking, humor, bubble bath with Epsom salts, meditation, exercise, music, time with pets and animals, sitting in the sun, helping others/volunteering, and, if all else fails, sleep.

• Detaching with love. Consciously walking away, going outside, dropping my end of the rope, and letting go.

• Sage, venting/processing with a caring friend, cut the cord energy technique, time alone/quiet time, put something funny on TV.

• Go for a walk, listen to music, or read a book.

• Visualizing a waterfall cascade through me and pushing all negative energies into the core of the earth.

Which ones resonated with you? I suggest trying out the ones that stood out to you. With practice and intention, you can get better and better at separating your energy from others around you. This will help you stay more balanced and have the energy you require to take care of your needs. Creating a template that works for you is about experimenting and practicing. Get to know what your body is telling you when you practice this. Do you feel relieved, calmer, and lighter after practicing some of these? That is a good sign that you have returned to balance and shed the energy that does not serve you anymore. 

~Julie Bjelland is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and founder of the online resource, Sensitive Empowerment. As a leader in the field of high sensitivity, Julie has helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) around the world reduce their challenges, access their gifts, and discover a sense of calm, feeling grounded, inner strength, and resiliency they have never thought possible. Giving people a sense of true connection, Julie is featured on national media regularly and on a mission to empower sensitive people to live their best lives. For articles, resources and the Sensitivity Quiz, visit www.sensitiveconnection.com. 

1. Course: Brain Training for the Highly Sensitive Person, Techniques to Reduce Anxiety and Overwhelming Emotions

2. Ibid.

3. Sensitivity quiz: www.sensitiveconnection.com

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