Guest Post

This blog post is part of our wonderful ongoing “Intuitive Parenting” program within the Sensitive Empowerment Community! This is a special article created to support all those who have reached out about homeschooling questions & concerns.

First and foremost, I want everyone who is currently involved in homeschooling to stop and give themselves a huge hug!  Imagine a waterfall of loving compassion pouring over yourself - because simply by caring enough to try to customize your sensitive child’s education, you are already doing an amazing job.  This applies to wherever you are in the process because it is an ongoing, ever-changing process and not something that can be found in a pre-made handbook or instruction manual!  It is the exact opposite: as homeschooling parents, we often have to make our own path as we go along based on what specifically helps our child to thrive.  For more specific information about why I decided to homeschool my daughter from 3rd through 9th grade, please see this blog post: Intuitive Parenting: The Power of Customizing Education to Support the Sensitive Child

Homeschooling can have many wonderful benefits for us HSPs!  It can also prove equally challenging!  The fascinating thing to me is that questions came in from all over the world, yet all shared the same themes: the challenges of mental, sensory and auditory overwhelm.  So please find comfort in knowing that you are definitely not alone, even if it can feel very lonely at times to be sitting at your kitchen table trying to do your best while dealing with the many layers of overwhelm that homeschooling inherently brings. 

I love looking on the bright side of life, so let’s begin with a few of the positive effects that homeschooling can have on a sensitive child & the family dynamic.  If you recognize any of these in your own situation, I hope it reinforces that you made the right decision!  If you are currently struggling with overwhelm, I hope something might spark ideas for solutions for your situation.

5 Super Positive Benefits!

1). You have the ability to structure your school day around your child’s natural rhythms (or your own).  If your child is a natural “night owl” like mine was, you can let them sleep as long as they need to in the morning and then start your school whenever you like.  They feel rested and alert, and you get to have the ultimate supportive HSP slow morning! No need to wake everyone in the dark and rush them outside in the cold to a school bus stop or fight morning traffic driving them to school while everyone scarfs down a granola bar and a juice box.  Just because traditional school “is supposed to start at 7:45 am” doesn’t mean yours has to! A lot of school systems base start times around when it’s convenient for working parents to drop their child off, not around what is the best learning time for your child’s brain and natural rhythms & temperament.  

2). You can structure your school day to avoid crowds.  This is a major benefit because we all know that crowded, bustling playgrounds, parks, museums, Children’s Centers, Zoos & Aquariums can often feel incredibly draining to sensitive children as well as their sensitive parents!  You can choose to visit places during the “traditional school day” Monday through Friday when these places are quieter and have the ability to avoid a totally overwhelming Saturday outing.  More learning and joy can take place when things feel calmer and there is less sensory overload.

3). The same goes for family vacation time!  If older children are in college or high school, you can choose to take your homeschool vacation time to match their breaks so the whole family can be together.  You can also choose to visit National Monuments, National Parks, Disneyland, etc., during their “off-peak times” by having your winter or spring break fall whenever those places are the quietest.  Having control over your ability to take much-needed breaks is a delightful advantage to homeschooling.  You can even design your entire school year exactly as feels best to your family - doing school year-round (all year but only a few days a week), choosing to take summers off, having a longer break during the holiday season to allow for more family activities at a leisurely pace - you can create whatever schedule supports your family best!

4). You can create a lifelong sense of joy for learning by indulging your child’s natural interests.  An example of this is my daughter absolutely loved birds when she was growing up, so I found a wide variety of fun ways to include this as part of our homeschool.  She had informational flash cards that she loved to have me (or guests to our home) quiz her on full of facts about specific birds; I found a delightful educational bird game that she loved playing on my iPad (allowing me some quiet time in the kitchen to fix dinner or make a phone call); I found a local Audubon bird expert who led birding walks in a local wetlands area for adults who was delighted to do private walks with my eager-to-learn daughter - that ended up being a fantastic way for her to get opportunities to learn from someone besides Mom and fresh air & exercise at the same time!  We also watched National Geographic documentaries about birds and she had her own pair of binoculars to use to look for birds in our backyard.  Get creative gathering all kinds of materials around the topics your child is naturally interested in, and remember that several activities can check multiple educational goals at the same time:  watching a fun nature documentary on the adorable Blue Footed Booby bird and then writing a little creative story about what they saw & coloring a picture to go along with it can cover lessons in science, writing, spelling, and art! 

5).  You can allow your child to accelerate or slow down at their own pace.  If they are thriving in one subject, by all means continue to gather more challenging projects regardless of what grade level it is “supposed to be.”  For example, if they love to spell, let them enjoy learning words that are several grades above as long as it feels fun to them!  One of the reasons I pulled my own child out of her elementary school was when her 2nd-grade teacher punished her for asking for more challenging spelling words - spelling was just something my daughter loved to do, but to the teacher, it felt like a “burden" to have to create customized lists just for her.  You can reward your child’s natural ability by making up games and activities and gathering materials that celebrate what they are naturally good at!  

3 Common Sources of Overwhelm with helpful ideas!

1) Mental Overwhelm—don’t be afraid to take a day off! Remember with compassion that traditional schools often have school assemblies, teacher “in-service days,” substitute teacher days, guest speakers, and field trips to break up the mental strain of caring for the wide variety of needs of children day in and day out.

2) Auditory Overwhelm - get creative to help lower or calm the noise level in your home if it is becoming an issue.  If you can, take advantage of child-friendly headphones where they can listen to their educational recordings, documentaries, audiobooks, or music related to whatever lessons you are learning in a way that gives you some moments of quiet.  This is especially helpful if you are homeschooling more than one child.  You can also play soothing classical music in the background while they are doing a quiet art project (such as coloring) or putting together a puzzle or a simple craft project to create a peaceful feeling in your home classroom.  Doing a cooking project together in the kitchen (baking is a great & fun way to learn basic math fractions) you can have quiet reading time while your cookies are baking in the oven and give yourself 12-15 minutes of the gift of silence.  Pay attention to when the noise level gets unbearable and keep a journal for yourself to gather clues to create solutions…is it always right before snack or lunchtime? Is it related to hunger causing restlessness? Do you have a child that needs to run around or be more active and could benefit from 5-minute “dance breaks” to fun music in one part of the house while your more quiet child gets to read in the “silent book nook” where you cast a magic spell and talking is not allowed while everyone is lost in their books.  

3) Sensory Overwhelm -  Get creative here.  The key is to identify what senses are being disregulated or feeling uncomfortable and customizing solutions in any way necessary.  Remember that you have free reign to do whatever feels best to you and your child.  If everyone feels stuck inside, your “classroom” can be a hammock in the backyard with the sound of birds singing and a gentle breeze or a picnic table at a nearby park where you bring lunch and some binoculars to look for birds as part of a science lesson.  If the kitchen table becomes too chaotic feeling for working on their lessons, children can work at a cozy desk in their own quiet bedroom.  Another fun idea is to convert a small closet (or alcove) into their own learning nook by removing the door, painting it a fun color, and hanging baskets on the wall for paper, pens, workbooks, etc.  You can customize it to your child’s favorite colors and even have their most comforting stuffed animals sit with them while they are working.  Try to get the children involved in choosing materials that feel good to them - a great example is my daughter loved this squishy soft beanbag chair so we put baskets of books next to it and a map of the world on the wall behind it and she spent a lot of her “school day” working on a lap desk there because it felt safe and cozy to her.  Customization is key to supporting your own needs and your child’s so you can all thrive together.

Join Us! 

I want to invite you to join me and my Co-Host, Carolina Mariposa (a wonderful therapist who specializes in supporting Sensitive children), at our Intuitive Parenting events, which are held regularly inside the Sensitive Empowerment Community. These are warm, welcoming gatherings where we share about topics designed to support parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, teachers, and all caregivers of sensitive little ones. Everyone is welcome! You can find summaries of previous discussions in the “Intuitive Parenting” section in the Replay Library of Sensitive Empowerment. 

About Me! 

Carol Huckle is the co-author with Julie Bjelland, LMFT of the new book series for Sensitive & Neurodivergent Children “The Adventures of Niko The Highly Sensitive Dog.” She also  co-hosts “Intuitive Parenting” events inside the Sensitive Empowerment Community to support caregivers of sensitive little ones.  As a volunteer Children’s Librarian leading pre-K through 5th grade reading groups, she often wished for books with characters that reflected the unique traits of bright, sensitive children.  An introverted child, Carol’s favorite books were her best friends, inspiring the character Buttercup.  Buttercup’s passion for research was inspired by Carol’s daughter, whose literary explorations discovered the unique, joyful dance of the blue-footed booby.  This inspired the wonderfully extroverted character Blueberry.  Carol is thrilled to collaborate with Julie in creating characters that celebrate being their authentic, unique selves! 

For more information about our joyful book series visit: www.SensitiveNiko.com

Want to write for The HSP Blog?

Read our submission guidelines here

Host of The HSP and Neurodivergent Blog

Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is a mom, licensed psychotherapist, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment. She specializes in supporting sensitive and neurodivergent individuals. Julie is dedicated to spreading awareness about the value of neurodivergence, fostering understanding and acceptance of differences, and teaching tools to reduce vulnerability to mental and physical health challenges. Recognizing the importance of early education and tools, her heartfelt children's book series featuring her sweet and sensitive dog, Niko, provides essential support to help children flourish. Autistic and sensitive, Julie drew inspiration from her experiences to create the character Juju. Explore her extensive resources at JulieBjelland.com.