Guest Article

As Highly Sensitive Persons we are very aware of many challenges that arise from our sensitivities and it’s easy to become overwhelmed and focus primarily, and often, on all of these challenges. But it’s not all challenging. It’s so important to realize all of the benefits of these sensitivities, and there are many!  

Often HSPs take these characteristics, experiences, skills, and advantages for granted because we assume everyone has them. Not so! Let’s take a look at some of the many benefits to help us realize that they can in fact become our Super Power! 

Noticing the Little Things 

From her initial research into Sensory Processing Sensitivity, Elaine Aron described  how Highly Sensitive Persons “Sense the Subtle.” Julie Bjelland talks about it and many other HSP traits in her resources for HSPs.  

We truly are aware of almost everything around us, often things that the majority of the population doesn’t. You probably heard many times in your life, both as a child and an  adult, “Just ignore it,” or “It’s no big deal, just let it go.” Well, that’s pretty tough for us. I  was told once when having difficulty sleeping due to a (thankfully temporary) noisy activity in the neighborhood, that if I got sleepy enough I’d fall asleep. Well, that wasn’t helpful or supportive, nor was it true.

The positive aspect of this, though, is that we experience many amazing things that others miss, and I wouldn’t trade it. You’ve probably heard people say, “Wow! I didn’t  see (hear, notice) that,’ or, “How did you even realize that?” I remember hiking one day years ago and became aware of something along the trail as I walked. I just had to backtrack and see what it was…you never know! I was able to watch two perfect little ladybugs on a shiny green spring leaf. The beauty of the bright red on the vibrant green and the realization that I’d been included in this little bit of Nature’s daily life, was so moving for me. And my hiking partner hadn’t noticed. You may notice things like this often, but not realize that it’s a special skill, a special gift that not everyone has. 

Compassion 

Highly sensitives tend to have deep compassion for others, the planet, all beings. Do you find that people, even those you don’t know well or even at all, tend to tell you very personal things? They seem to feel that we’ll listen and understand and be supportive.  When we’re compassionate, people tend to feel comfortable around us and let us into their circles, allowing for creating deeper connection, which we crave. 

We definitely need to develop and practice good energetic boundaries to balance our compassion. But, we can be present and supportive to others without owning or actually experiencing their emotions and while choosing (this is important) to not allow their energy into our fields. If we do that we can listen to, help, and build relationships with others while still maintaining our own health. 

HSPs are often healers and helpers in their jobs and careers because this compassion runs so deep. And because we notice the little things we often know when someone is having an off day and can use a hug, or make just the right comment at just the right time. 

Good Friends 

Highly Sensitive People tend to have deeper friendships than non-HSPs. We don’t usually enjoy small talk or frivolous conversations…we like deeper meaning and discussion, so we typically have a small number of really close friends with whom we can have this deeper connection. In my childhood and early adulthood, I thought there was something wrong with me because I wasn’t friends with every kid in school or college and was successful at avoiding big gatherings where a lot of small talk (and noise) was typical. I wanted acceptance but just wasn’t interested in what most of the others were. Now I realize that if I’d understood why and made that ok, it would have been much easier to navigate those days and be ok with myself. 

Although some people are uncomfortable getting too close or discussing deeper issues, those we resonate with are generally drawn to us because of our HSPness: we are very present during our interactions, we listen and process the conversation and have thoughtful responses, and are compassionate and understanding and treat people well. We know at a deep level what it’s like to not be respected or valued, so we respect and value others, especially our friends. 

To keep our friendships healthy we do need to be aware of our traits if we’re trying to have conversations while a lot is going on around us; it can be very challenging to focus on the person we’re talking with. We want to be fully present, but we can become very distracted and unable to tune in completely. In those cases, it’s helpful to pause and say something like, “I need to stop you for a minute…I want to listen, but there’s so much going on around us I’m having trouble focusing just on you. Can we  find a quieter place to talk?” If we aren’t direct about this, it can appear that we’re not paying attention, that we don’t care, which is the opposite of true. 

Good Leaders, Employers, and Employees 

HSPs tend to be good problem-solvers because we think out of the box and see things from all sides. We think things through and are detail-oriented which can mean not missing anything and making sure all possibilities have been considered. We also tend to be conscientious. People tend to trust that we’ll complete our projects with positive outcomes. They depend upon us. 

Being aware and compassionate are winning traits in the workplace. We often know what individual people, the group, or the situation needs and when and how to approach others, or when NOT to. People usually see that we make positive, helpful contributions that help the greater good, and our opinions are usually valued.  

As leaders, we tend to consider everyone’s needs and abilities and can evaluate their strengths and where they can use support. Leading from the heart rather than just the head, and considering all viewpoints and possibilities generally helps to avoid power struggles and makes for happier, more engaged employees and followers. 

Appreciation 

When was the last time you were moved to tears? It probably hasn’t been that long.  We might cry often out of frustration or a sense of things being unfair, or in response to someone’s hurtful words or actions, but we’re just as likely to cry from happiness and that deep heartfelt response. Perhaps recently you found yourself reaching for a tissue after hearing a certain piece of music, or feeling your eyes blur as you read a heartwarming story. We feel deeply, and that can be a beautiful thing. 

Highly Sensitives are often moved deeply by Nature, the arts, acts of kindness, and cute, sweet things like animals and happy children. This is another reason I wouldn’t trade the HSP trait. Think about someone you recall having little or no response to something beautiful you cried about. They’re missing out on something amazing, not able to appreciate life to the depth that you are. That’s sad for them, but we can relish and celebrate it!

You may have family members or friends who tease you for your ‘sappy’ responses. What if you could find a way to reinforce your experience, validate it yourself, and help others understand it? Maybe you could say something like, “I know you don’t feel the same way I do about it, but  I’m so glad I can enjoy it so much. I’m a bit sad that you’re missing out!” Or maybe,  “Ya, I’m sappy, but it seems like life would be pretty boring without experiencing things  the way I do.” Sometimes comments like this lead to interesting conversations. 

Creativity 

Highly Sensitives tend to be creative. This might realize itself in the arts, work projects, or innovation. Thinking outside the box and being able to visualize and consider many viewpoints and options opens up a wide array of potential outcomes. Our curiosity and wish to know things serve us well in these areas. When you were young you may have driven your parents crazy with “Why?” but as we get older that’s a very useful question.  We like to know the why of things and often come up with ideas for making them better.  

Many inventors and artists are/have been Highly Sensitive and their ability to see things differently and process deeply created amazing results. One of my favorite quotes by a  contemporary artist is from Alanis Morissette (singer-songwriter):  

“Being a sensitive empath is a beautiful thing as an artist, and it fosters a deep burning  curiosity about why we do the things we do.” 

Even if it’s not your job or career, engaging in creative arts can be very rewarding and healing for HSPs. There’s a great opportunity for mindfulness and quiet time while engaging in art, and often there’s a bit of skill there. If you’re not paying attention to your creative side, it’s time! 

I’ve only shared 6 benefits of sensitivities here, but there are so many more. Think about all of the challenges you have due to being sensitive…can you find something positive about them, see them in a different light? Where do your sensitivities show themselves as your Super Power?

Tammy is a holistic life coach and energy healer focusing on helping other HSPs calm the nervous system and develop effective coping strategies to decrease overwhelm,  and to cultivate self-awareness, self-compassion, and self-love. You can read more  about her and her work at  https://lifescape-wellness.com/

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Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Register for free Masterclasses, get a free guide to calm your brain, a letter to give your medical and mental health practitioners about high sensitivity and take the Sensitivity Quiz at JulieBjelland.com ❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)