What Helps During Times of Struggle?
There’s a lot going on in the world and sensitive people tend to be even more impacted. I'm pretty sure all of us have experienced times of grief, darkness, or other times of struggle at some point in our lives. I know some of you are going through those times right now and I thought it could feel healing to connect and share with each other what helps.
Triggers that can make things harder...
loss of a loved one
lack of adequate sleep
health issues
global pandemics
hormonal changes
relationship problems and endings
loneliness or isolation, lacking connection
financial struggles
transitions
extreme stressors
abandonment
rejection
ignoring our needs
being out of balance
lacking self-care
and more...
Some days during struggle our biggest success is that we had a shower or ate something. Some days we might have more successes and some days not. There can be waves of ups and downs.
Things that help...
reminding ourselves the feeling is not going to be this strong forever
letting go of expectations
letting go of to-do list for awhile
focusing on the basics...drinking water, eating, bathing
walking in nature
sunlight
cuddling pets
Breath exercises
crying without judging
music
hugs
weighted blanket
gardening
creative projects
talking with a friend or therapist
writing/journaling
connecting with others going through the same thing (like support groups)
setting boundaries
prioritizing your needs
vocalizing and advocating those needs to be met
doing something that feels meaningful
normalizing emotions
being in a positive community like this! ❤️
What would you add? What's helped you? Your share may help someone a lot right now. ❤️
See what other HSPs in my Sensitive Empowerment Community added!
Great post and very helpful ideas! I would add to what helps: Playing with a young child (with them directing the play/activity)
8 to 10 hours of sleep, EFT (tapping) really helps, listening to affirmations (i have subscribed to mind body soul), belly/diaphragm breathing by putting one hand there
Make or play music. Listen to exquisite music (preferably with your whole body!) and/or sing (with emotion)
Yes! Sometimes, there is something about music that is able to resonate and touch places that nothing else can.
I find setting boundaries and prioritizing needs really important during times of struggle. Even though someone else may want to discuss things right here right now so to speak this may not be a match for what we're needing at the time and will probably only create more tension. Giving ourselves the space and time that is needed I've also found to be helpful in minimizing reactivity. If I'm really struggling with my emotions like frustration or anger over something I'll go and pull weeds in the garden. Fortunately, there is absolutely no shortage of material for this very symbolic and satisfying activity :)
Digging deep via journaling to understand the root cause of my feelings. Providing self-care based on outcomes of inner work.
I experienced an injury in a significant relationship recently that had me in a fog emotionally. A few things helped me come back. After reading in this community about normalizing crying, I felt able to allow myself to feel the feelings and cry, without the self-judgment of feeling “out of control.” I also worked to keep myself contained over holiday visits, as to not leak out everywhere and prolong my confusion. I spent as much time in bed as I wanted in soft clothes with my cats, and drank a lot of herbal cinnamon tea. Journaling helped me clarify my feelings and reactions and setting limits gave me space to heal a bit, and time to reflect on how I want to respond. I also asked for help in other areas of life and that supported me indirectly. Also, checking in here for connection and learning is a huge help! Basically, all the stuff on the list! Thank you and this group for these timely posts over the past several days and reminders of tools we have! ♥️
Lovely list. I would add a warm bath, with a candle and chocolate at hand. And tea at one's leisure.
Swimming, floating (preferably not in a pool). Absorbing sunlight.
I find it so interesting that many of the self-care suggestions are things I have found on my own in a desperate need to order and calm my life. It’s very comforting and validating to see them listed all over this site and to know that I have done more with my own self-care over my lifetime than I realized. That’s a good feeling. I go “down” pretty easily and in the past berated myself even worse for being so weak and delicate. Now I acknowledge that the feelings are coming and they are intense and it’s ok. I allow myself to feel the intensity and then I comfort myself. Giving myself permission to feel like this, knowing full well that almost everyone I know would disapprove, is accepting ME, my very high sensitivity, and not feeling shame because of it.
Crying. Although I used to hate crying and viewed it as a sign of weakness in myself, I can’t escape it as an HSP Empath. 😂🤣🥲 It’s cathartic and I am learning to embrace it as a good thing. I try to remind myself when I begin beating myself up for crying that it’s okay to cry and that it’s healthy. Crying is not always a sign something is wrong, it’s usually a sign that something is moving and being released; holding in emotions is toxic. Luckily, I’ve never been able to hold mine in for long! 😱😂
I connect to myself and nature. Snow came today. I did a slow and low-ground 30 minutes breath and body practice, and I spent some time shoveling with grace and gratitude, which turned out to be very grounding.
Some other self-care tools:
❤️Meditation
♥️Yoga
❤️Walking in a spiral 🌀 pattern from the outside in.
❤️Self-love Journaling
❤️8-10 hours sleep
❤️10 minutes decluttering
❤️Candles/salt lamps
❤️Water
❤️Mindfully touching and connecting with fresh produce to prepare healthy meals.
❤️Play
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Julie Bjelland is a psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, Author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, host of The HSP Podcast, and founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her books, blog, online courses, and free Masterclasses have helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) worldwide reduce their challenges, access their gifts, and discover their significant value to thrive to their fullest potential. Her HSPs in Heart-Centered Business Group connects and supports HSP healers and practitioners. Julie loves connecting in her Sensitive Empowerment Community and warmly invites you to join this positive, safe, and welcoming space. JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)