Nurturing Ourselves Through Life's Challenges: A Guide for Sensitive Souls by Julie Bjelland, LMFT
Life, with its unpredictable twists and turns, as well as world events, often poses challenges that test our resilience and emotional strength. For sensitive individuals, these challenges can feel even more overwhelming due to our deep emotional perception and empathy. However, being sensitive is not a weakness; it's a beautiful gift that allows us to connect with the world on a profound level. Nurturing ourselves through life's challenges as sensitive souls requires a unique approach that acknowledges and embraces our sensitivity.
Recently, I underwent oral surgery, a process marked by intense pain and unexpected complications. This experience prompted deep reflection, allowing me to recognize the value of the coping mechanisms I've cultivated over the years. In the past, I used to be excessively self-critical, blaming myself for the delays in my healing process or unexpected complications, almost as if I held myself responsible for having a sensitive body. However, I am now profoundly thankful for the growth I've achieved through years of personal development and tool refinement. This journey has enabled me to support myself through this challenging experience in a way that felt entirely better! With this newfound perspective, I wanted to share some of the strategies that aided me, hoping they might offer support to you as well, whether your challenge is physical or emotional.
Here are some strategies tailored to the sensitive:
1. Acknowledge Our Feelings
As sensitive souls, we often experience emotions intensely. It helps to acknowledge and validate these feelings, even if they seem overwhelming. Embracing our emotions without judgment can provide a sense of relief and self-acceptance. We need to allow ourselves to feel deeply; our feelings are valid and worthy. It’s amazing how much energy gets wasted when we judge ourselves! I felt a sense of peace this time in the fact that I accepted the parts that were difficult and could, therefore, use my energy for healing instead.
2. Create Emotional Boundaries
While our empathetic nature is a strength, it's crucial for us to establish emotional boundaries. We need to learn to differentiate between our emotions and those of others. Practicing saying no when we need to and prioritizing our well-being is essential. Setting boundaries protects our energy and prevents emotional exhaustion. I am now able to set boundaries without wasting any energy on guilt! Yay! This is profound for us as sensitive people. If you feel guilty when you set boundaries, you might find my free webinar about boundaries helpful!
3. Practice Self-Compassion
We shouldn't be too hard on ourselves, especially during challenging times. Treating ourselves with the same gentleness and understanding that we offer others is essential. Having a self-compassion practice has changed my life. Being a supportive friend to myself during challenging times aids in my healing. Self-compassion involves:
Being mindful of our suffering.
Understanding that it's a part of the human experience.
Extending warmth and kindness to ourselves.
4. Seek Support
We shouldn't hesitate to reach out to understanding friends, family, or an HSP therapist or coach. Talking about our feelings with supportive individuals can provide immense relief. Surrounding ourselves with people who appreciate our sensitivity and offer genuine empathy is crucial. I’ve loved the supportive experience of our sensitive family in the Sensitive Empowerment Community. It’s wonderful to normalize and validate our experience! We also offer the Spiral Up Group inside of the community to support HSPs experiencing depression.
5. Embrace Solitude
Sensitive souls often find solace in solitude. Taking time for ourselves to recharge and reconnect with our inner selves is necessary. Engaging in activities that bring us peace, whether reading, painting, gardening or simply walking quietly in nature, can nurture our sensitive spirits. This was the first time I was alone during my healing phase (since I had just moved), and overall, I found the solitude kind of helped in my healing since I wasn’t talking as much or impacted by other people’s energy around me. I’ve heard from many HSPs who like to be alone during healing phases.
6. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding
Mindfulness techniques, such as meditation and deep breathing, can help us stay centered amidst life's chaos. You might find some of my free meditation recordings helpful here. Grounding exercises, such as being barefoot on the earth or water, can anchor us to the present moment, reduce inflammation, and promote calmness. Every day, I put my feet in the water in the lagoon off my patio, and I knew it was helping me physically and emotionally. I watched the sunrise and the sunset and took in the beauty of the birds and the sky. It’s so healing for us as HSPs to be present in nature!
7. Embrace Our Creativity
Many sensitive individuals are inherently creative. Channeling our emotions and energy into creative outlets such as writing, art, music, or dance can be incredibly therapeutic. Expressing ourselves creatively not only serves as a cathartic release but also allows us to transform our emotions into something beautiful and meaningful. I’ve always found it feels good to write about my experiences and share tips about what helped so that my suffering may help ease another’s.
8. Cultivate Gratitude
Despite the challenges, finding moments of gratitude in our everyday lives is important. Gratitude shifts the focus from what's lacking to what we have, fostering a positive mindset. Keeping a gratitude journal and reflecting on the small joys and blessings that touch our sensitive hearts can bring immense comfort and peace. This practice can be very helpful because of the brain’s negativity bias. Being conscious about what you take in as a sensitive soul is important because it can take up to 5-8 positives to neutralize one negative. Filling up our positivity tanks during challenging times becomes even more important. I felt grateful to have my pets with me, providing comfort as well as my daily water view. I know this active gratitude truly gave me the strength to get through the tough parts.
9. Limit Expectations of Self, Take Small Steps
It's crucial for us to understand that progress doesn't have to be monumental. Setting small, achievable goals and celebrating our victories, no matter how minor they may seem, can boost our confidence and self-worth. By limiting our expectations and focusing on small steps, we can navigate challenges with patience and self-compassion. For example, during the peak of the pain I was experiencing, I didn’t have very much physical energy, so I just did a little at a time. I might do a load of laundry, then put it away on a different day. I found each little thing I did to be a small step to celebrate.
10. Practice Regular Self-Care Rituals
As sensitive souls, we absorb the energies around us, making self-care essential for maintaining balance and inner peace. Dedicate time regularly to engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Whether it's a warm bath, a leisurely walk in the park, practicing yoga, or simply enjoying a cup of tea, these moments of self-care are not indulgences but necessities. Prioritize your well-being and make self-care a non-negotiable part of your routine. Taking care of yourself physically, emotionally, and mentally enhances your resilience and empowers you to face life's challenges with a renewed sense of strength and calmness. Remember, self-care is not selfish; it's a vital act of self-love and preservation for sensitive souls like us. I am so happy that I’ve learned about self-care as a sensitive person and that I now know it is a medical necessity to be well, so I practice it every day, making it incredibly helpful to have this practice all set up when you need it! You might find The HSP Toolbox helpful to learn about what daily tools are most helpful for those of us with sensitive nervous systems.
Being sensitive is a precious gift that allows us to experience the world uniquely and profoundly. By nurturing ourselves through life's challenges, we can navigate the complexities of life while embracing our sensitivity as a source of strength and resilience. Remember, our sensitivity is our superpower, making us beautifully and authentically who we are.