10 Reasons Highly Sensitive People Feel Challenged Making Friends by Julie Bjelland, LMFT
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) may encounter specific challenges when making friends due to their unique traits and sensitivities. Here are some reasons why HSPs might find it more challenging to make friends:
Overstimulation: HSPs tend to be highly attuned to their surroundings and emotions, which means they can quickly become overwhelmed in noisy or chaotic social environments. This overstimulation can make it challenging for them to relax and engage in social interactions.
Selective Socializing: HSPs often prefer deep, meaningful connections with a few close friends rather than large social circles. They may be selective in choosing who they spend their time with, making it harder to form friendships quickly.
Emotional Intensity: Highly sensitive individuals may experience emotions more intensely than others. This emotional depth can be complex for some people to understand or lead to misunderstandings, especially if their potential friends have a different emotional temperament.
Need for Authenticity: HSPs value authenticity and genuine connections. They may struggle to connect with people who are superficial or insincere, making it harder to find like-minded friends.
Social Anxiety: Some HSPs may experience social anxiety, inhibiting their ability to initiate and maintain social interactions. The fear of judgment or rejection can be daunting for them.
Empathy Overload: HSPs often have high levels of empathy, which can lead to taking on the emotional burdens of others. Empathy overload can be draining and lead to a preference for spending time alone to recover.
Perfectionism: Highly sensitive people may be perfectionists, setting high standards for themselves and others. This can make it challenging to accept the imperfections in potential friends or tolerate minor conflicts.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries: HSPs may have trouble setting boundaries in relationships, leading to them being taken advantage of or feeling overwhelmed by the demands of others.
Fear of Rejection: HSPs may fear rejection more intensely than others because of their sensitivity. This fear can make them hesitant to put themselves out there and take risks in forming new friendships.
Self-Care Needs: HSPs often require more downtime and self-care to recharge after social interactions. This need for recovery time can limit the number of social activities they engage in.
Despite these challenges, it's important to note that being highly sensitive also comes with many strengths, such as empathy, deep emotional connections, and a keen understanding of others' needs. HSPs can work on finding strategies to manage their sensitivities and build fulfilling friendships, such as seeking out like-minded individuals, practicing self-care, and gradually expanding their comfort zones in social settings.
It's also crucial for HSPs to remember that there is nothing inherently wrong with their sensitivity, and they should embrace and appreciate their unique qualities when seeking friends who understand and appreciate them for who they are.
Highly sensitive people (HSPs) can make friends by leveraging their unique traits and sensitivities. Here are some specific tips to help HSPs build meaningful friendships:
Self-Acceptance: Start by accepting and embracing your sensitivity as a valuable part of yourself. Recognize that your unique qualities can enhance your relationships.
Find Like-Minded Individuals: Seek out environments and social groups where you will likely meet people who share your interests, values, or sensitivities. Common ground makes it easier to connect.
Online Communities: Consider joining online forums, groups, or social networks focused on your interests. These platforms can provide a more controlled and comfortable space for making initial connections. My favorite one for HSPs is The Sensitive Empowerment Community!
Mindful Socializing: When attending social events or gatherings, practice mindfulness. Pay attention to your feelings and sensations, and allow yourself to take breaks if you feel overwhelmed.
Be Selective: Focus on quality over quantity. Look for individuals who appreciate and respect your sensitivity and with whom you can build deep connections.
Active Listening: HSPs often excel in empathetic listening. Use this skill to your advantage by being a good listener. Show genuine interest in what others say and ask follow-up questions to deepen conversations.
Share Your Feelings: Don't hesitate to share your thoughts and feelings with potential friends, especially when relevant to the conversation. Sharing your experiences can help build trust and deeper connections.
Set Boundaries: Be clear about your boundaries and communicate them respectfully. Let your friends know when you need alone time or when certain situations overwhelm you.
Prioritize self-care to maintain emotional balance. Regular self-care practices can help you manage stress and reduce the risk of sensory overload.
Take Small Steps: If you have social anxiety or feel overwhelmed by larger social gatherings, start with small, low-pressure interactions and gradually work up to more extensive social engagements.
Be Patient: Building meaningful friendships can take time, especially for HSPs, who may be more cautious in forming connections. Be patient with yourself and the process.
Embrace Vulnerability: Understand that vulnerability is a part of building deep connections. Be open about your feelings and fears with friends who have earned your trust.
Remember that making friends is not about changing who you are but finding individuals who appreciate you for your authentic self. It's perfectly okay to be selective about the people you allow into your life, as quality friendships can significantly impact your well-being as an HSP.
We love the deep connections we are making in The Sensitive Empowerment Community and have so many different ways to connect. We offer live events weekly, virtual Meet and Greets (even introverts love), live written chats, and discussions on various topics of interest. Many HSPs have shared it’s the first time they have ever felt a sense of belonging. Being with other kind-hearted HSPs makes has a profound impact on our well-being too!
We warmly invite you to join our Sensitive Empowerment Community!
Julie Bjelland, LMFT
An HSP Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity. As the founder of Sensitive Empowerment, she is passionately committed to raising awareness about the extraordinary value inherent in sensitivity. Recognizing the vital importance of education and support, Julie is dedicated to equipping HSPs with the necessary tools to reduce their susceptibility to mental and physical health challenges. Her extensive array of resources stands as a heartfelt endeavor to provide this essential support. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.
Some men have expressed frustration about my focus on women’s autism experiences, but this emphasis addresses a longstanding research gap that makes women-centered support essential.