25 Traits That Point to Autism, Not Just High Sensitivity by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Many people in our community are sensitive, empathic, intuitive, and also… possibly autistic.

But because autism was defined for so long through a very narrow lens, most of us were never shown a version of autism that looked like us.

We were taught to think of autism in terms of very visible traits, usually in white boys, focused on external behavior. Not in those of us who internalize, feel deeply, mask, and burn out quietly.

So what happens?

We get missed. Misdiagnosed. Misunderstood.
We’re told we’re “too sensitive,” “too emotional,” “too intense,” or “not enough.”
And we often spend years trying to figure out what’s wrong with us.

But what if nothing was ever wrong?
What if you were simply autistic—and never had the language for it?

A Note on Sensitivity and Autism

For years, many of these traits were described as part of Sensory Processing Sensitivity or the Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) framework. For many of us, that brought a sense of relief and self-understanding, at least at first.

But what we now know is that many of these “sensitive traits” are actually autistic traits, especially in adults who were socialized to mask, internalize, and adapt.

This is what I call the Sensitive Autistic Phenotype—and for many people in this community, it’s the missing piece that finally makes everything make sense.

25 Autistic Traits to Reflect On

How many of these feel familiar to you, either now or when you were younger?

1. I’ve always felt “different,” out of place, or like I didn’t belong.

2. I feel socially anxious or awkward around unfamiliar people.

3. I’ve struggled with anxiety or depression throughout my life.

4. I prefer one-on-one or small, familiar groups over larger gatherings.

5. I’m often told I’m either too quiet or that I ask too many questions, or talk too much and I usually feel like I’m not getting the balance “right.”

6. I’ve been told to smile more or that my neutral expression looks upset or unhappy, which may lead to misunderstandings.

7. I consciously think about how much eye contact I’m making and whether it’s the “right” amount.

8. I often feel like I’m on a different wavelength from other people, even when I’m trying to connect.

9. I often feel misunderstood, even when I’m trying to be clear in how I communicate.

10. I feel distressed when plans change unexpectedly because I need time to mentally and emotionally prepare.

11. I plan ahead for social situations or activities, especially to manage my energy.

12. I have intense, focused interests that I can get completely absorbed in—sometimes losing track of time or forgetting to eat or rest.

13. I use repetitive movements or vocalizations (like fidgeting, tapping, humming, hair twirling, cheek biting, skin picking, or playing with my fingers or nails, etc) to calm or regulate myself. 

14. I experience meltdowns, shutdowns, or emotional collapses when I’m overwhelmed or exhausted.

15. I’ve experienced burnout from years of pushing myself, masking, or feeling misunderstood.

16. From a young age, I learned to adapt my behavior, speech, or expressions to match what was expected rather than what felt natural.

17. I’ve changed how I present myself in social settings so I would be accepted by others.

18. I feel emotionally or physically drained after social interactions.

19. I need regular alone time to recover and feel like myself again.

20. I often feel fatigued, even when I haven’t done anything physically strenuous.

21. My brain feels like it’s always “on”—thinking, learning, analyzing, preparing, or replaying.

22. I experience at least one of these regularly: fatigue, pain, headaches, digestive sensitivities, or strong reactions to medications or certain foods.

23. I react more strongly than others to sensory input like bright lights, loud or overlapping sounds, scratchy textures, temperature changes, strong smells, etc.

24. I feel like it’s hard to enter or exit a conversation with a group of people I don’t know. 

25. I have a strong sense of justice and fairness, and I can feel deeply upset by injustice—even when it doesn’t affect me personally.

Autism Is a Neurotype, Not a Disorder

If you’ve spent your life thinking something was “wrong” with you, you’re not alone.

But here’s something important to understand:
Autism isn’t a disorder—it’s a neurotype.
It’s simply one of many natural ways human brains can be wired.
Neurodiversity is as vital to humanity as biodiversity is to nature.

Autistic people experience, sense, feel, and process the world differently, not incorrectly. These differences only become struggles when the world isn’t built to support them.

You’re not broken. You’re not too much or not enough.
You may simply be autistic, and finally beginning to understand yourself through a lens of truth and compassion.

What if this is the missing piece?

If many of these traits resonate with you, you’re not alone.
You may not be “just sensitive"—you may be neurodivergent in a way that was never named.
And this insight might be the beginning of deeper clarity, self-acceptance, and relief.

If you’re curious to explore this further, I’ve created many neurodiversity-affirming resources and support to guide you.

Take the Autism Quiz and Explore More Information About the Sensitive Autistic Phenotype

You deserve clarity. You deserve support.
And most of all, you deserve to feel understood.

A Reflection Invitation

For those of you who don’t (yet) relate to the label of autism—
Which of the 25 traits don’t resonate with you?

You’re welcome to share what feels different or not quite true to your experience. These reflections help us all learn more about ourselves and the many ways neurodivergence can show up.

Julie Bjelland, LMFT

An Autistic, licensed psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment. She specializes in high sensitivity and adult-discovered autism and developed Sensitive Autistic Phenotype Assessments, which recognize the internal, high-masking traits often missed in traditional evaluations. Julie offers therapy, consultations, and autism assessments, and her global resources include online courses, a top-ranked podcast, and the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her mission is to help sensitive and neurodivergent individuals thrive with self-understanding, compassion, and authenticity. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com.

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