Journey of Empowerment by Mary Ellen Ott

Guest Post

Let me just start by saying that when it comes to being an HSP, I know from personal experience that the most important thing we need to learn is to change our state, not our trait. Ultimately, this is simple, but at first, it isn’t easy. Let me explain.

My entire life has been profoundly affected by being a Highly Sensitive Person. After finding out about this trait, the first response I had was to try to outrun it! I decided that if I was an HSP and there was nothing I could do about it, then my only option was to reject the label and prove that I could function at the same pace and in the same way as the 80% of the population without the trait and, not only that, but I was determined to prove I could do even more and do it even faster. Yes, this was a classic case of denial and assuming a grossly mistaken identity which resulted in complete and utter burnout. Perhaps you can relate.

My body sent me clear messages on a regular basis that my lifestyle just wasn’t working for me. I had digestive issues, migraines, hormonal issues, frequent illnesses, chronic muscle pain and tension, and a pervasive unrelenting fatigue. I think you get the idea. 

When I went to see my physician, he decided that I needed to be on an antidepressant. I am thankful to the medical community and pharmaceutical companies for all of the help and support they offer. However, this drug was clearly not what I needed and immediately started producing side effects. When I went back to my doctor and explained what was happening, he stated that taking the medication was his recommendation and that if I chose not to follow his advice, that I was no longer welcome in his practice. This was incredible to me as he had been my physician since I was born and I was 30 at the time. Needless to say, I didn’t go back.

Well, this series of seemingly unfortunate events led me on a wonderful journey of exploration, education, and healing that I have been on ever since. I distinctly remember thinking to myself that there must be a better way. Shouldn’t I be resting more, eating better, and exercising? Of course! So this set me on the initial phase of my journey and ignited my incredible passion for healthy self-care as the foundation for all we want to be and do.

As is the case with life journeys of this magnitude, it hasn’t always been smooth or easy, but it has all led to my empowerment as a Highly Sensitive Person who is now able to help and guide others to transform their lives as a person who has done so myself. I went through four distinct phases that I now see others go through as well.

1. Acknowledging the trait - Learning about the HSP trait and realizing that yes, this describes you! (To take an HSP quiz and see where you are on the sensitivity scale, I recommend visiting Julie Bjelland’s website. There you will also find online courses and books to support you along the way. My personal favorite is Julie’s book, The Highly Empowered Sensitive Person.) 

2. Accepting the HSP trait - Here’s where learning about the trait from empowered people is essential. In order to be open and receptive to accepting the trait, you need to know that with it comes a myriad of gifts that are an integral part of who you are and what you can do. You need to know that sensitivity is a superpower!

3. Accommodating the trait - I think Dr. Elaine Aron, the person who first named the trait said it best when she stated that we should organize our lives around the HSP trait for the optimal level of stimulation AND not feel flawed in any way for doing so! I definitely think the second part of that statement is key to both our confidence and self-compassion. We simply cannot live like the 80% of the population without this trait, and YES that’s ok. If we practice healthy self-care at the level we need to thrive, not just survive, all those around us benefit as well. 

4. Accentuate the trait - This is the fun part!  Once we have made our way through the first three phases, now we have even more to celebrate. We have incredible gifts, talents, and insights that make up who we are. It is up to us to make the time to explore and enjoy our passions, get involved in meaningful projects, and really just step up and out into the world as the empowered and empowering people we know ourselves to be. This is the ultimate experience of highlighting the best the trait has to offer and often translates to being of service to others too. It’s a beautiful thing to behold indeed. 

I love educating and supporting others through these stages. As part of my journey, I always knew that I was meant to facilitate others in the process of healing their lives and embracing the self-care I have come to know as so crucial to flourishing. As a result, I went on to become a Holistic Wellness Life Coach in 2005 and started my own private practice. It was soon after that I noticed a trend starting to emerge in my clients. In spite of the best of intentions, they often got stuck in habitual ways of feeling, acting, and thinking. That’s when I knew that I needed a powerful tool to help them to get unstuck and to move in a new direction. 

That’s when I was graced with a huge intuitive hit regarding my life’s purpose and direction. After having pondered the issue over a period of time, in one instant, that all changed and I knew exactly what I was meant to do: become a Certified Hypnotherapist. I immediately went and found the ad I had seen in a local wellness publication that I wrote for, called, registered, and the rest is history.

Hypnotherapy is a wonderful, gentle tool for healing and insight that is especially soothing to HSPs and an ideal complement to the coaching process. During coaching, we identify the areas we want to address, discuss resources, answer powerful questions, set intentions, and commit to inspired action. Then, in hypnotherapy, we teach the body to relax and tap into the mind-body-spirit connection in the process of change. Once in a relaxed state, we can explore and heal past emotional experiences, become aware of and release negative, limiting beliefs, and be more open and receptive to the thoughts and images of our new empowered self. Essentially, we are breaking the outdated neurological connections of the past that no longer serve us and forging new connections to condition us into a new and brighter future. We learn to think and feel in empowered ways and see ourselves taking new actions ahead of time which enhances our success. Then, through daily meditation and affirmation, we can maintain and continue our progress. 

Finding support and learning the tools that we need to change our state, not our trait is what we need to do in order to live our best life. Caring for our bodies is a great start, but we need to go beyond that to heal the past, enjoy the present, and create our future. We as HSPs really are blessed in so many ways and called to be a blessing to others whether through healing, art, music, teaching, parenting, or whatever we choose to do in the world. The world really is a better place with you in it. Now go out there and dare to shine your beautiful light. The world needs each one of us. The world needs YOU!

Mary Ellen Ott, M. Ed. - is the Founder of Nurture U Life Coaching and owner and founder of Nurture U. It has been her greatest passion and privilege to educate, inspire, and motivate clients to embrace healthy self-care as the basis for all they want to be and do since 2005. Mary Ellen is definitely "a different kind of coach with a decidedly different approach." She loves all things related to the wellness of mind, body, and spirit. She coaches her clients to do the same with wisdom, humor, and divine inspiration. For more information, please visit the Nurture U Life Coaching website. You may also sign up for a complimentary copy of the Nurture U Holistic Wellness Self-Assessment Tool through the website or get your download here.  

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Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Register for free Masterclasses, get a free guide to calm your brain, a letter to give your medical and mental health practitioners about high sensitivity and take the Sensitivity Quiz at JulieBjelland.com ❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)