One Full Unstructured Day Off Every Week: An Essential Tool for Your HSP Toolbox

Many HSPs have a hard time advocating for unstructured alone time. Societal or family pressures often inaccurately teach us that it is selfish to do self-care or we are taught that being "busy" constantly is what is valued. But HSPs who don't take this unstructured time generally DO NOT thrive and I don't believe that is good for you or the world, do you?  I believe self-care that helps us thrive is the right thing to do so let's change those old messages together.  

Let's create new messages that value meeting our needs so we balance our sensitive nervous system and thrive.  You will need more unstructured time to yourself than the majority do (who don't have this trait) and let's normalize that. It is NOT because something is wrong with you. It's because you have a sensory processing sensitivity and the world is overstimulating and not set up for our needs so it is our responsibility to meet our needs so we can thrive in the world for ourselves, for our family, and for society.  

It's so common for people to get to their to-do list BEFORE they get to their downtime, but I suggest the opposite because often the unstructured downtime never comes. 

Plan your unstructured time BEFORE your to-do list. 

Why is this important for HSPs? Because think about all the times you skipped your downtime, alone time, nature time, quiet time because you were "too busy getting things done".  

HSPs need more time to just "BE" still and quiet to process and rest our sensory systems.  You have a whole lot of things to process and recover from and if it keeps building up you won't be well and that's not good for anyone.  

We have been learning that any HSP you see thriving in the world has a daily self-care practice that includes daily quiet, unstructured, alone time, and usually meditation, nature time, stillness, mindfulness, and enjoyable movement, PLUS an unstructured day off per week (intentionally).

We don't need validation or approval from others to take this time. If you struggle to take time to yourself, here are some questions to help you think about this in an empowered way...

• Are you getting your full day off per week of unstructured downtime and self-care? If not, are there creative ways you might be able to or can you advocate for that time?

• Do you believe that even if those around you are not practicing self-care this way, that you can role model ways to thrive in the world by doing what works for your own wellness and balance?

• Do you believe your wellness would improve if you took that time to yourself to do what you want, which essentially can make you more productive on the other days?

• Do you believe you are worthy of the self-care you need to thrive? If not, why not? Are there ways you might be able to shift this type of unempowered thinking?

• How might you benefit from advocating for your needs to have unstructured alone time?

• What are positive shifts you have noticed in you when you do take unstructured days off? 

• What are ways you advocate for this time to yourself? 

Here are some responses from members of my Sensitive Empowerment Community that may inspire you!

• This is a great reminder and post. I really liked the idea of an unstructured day off per week. I want to do that. I would like to know how you define an unstructured day? I keep planning ahead for days in the week even for a Sunday. Just for one day, I would like to take the day as it comes. But how to do that?

  • My response in the community: I think of unstructured days off as a day to do whatever I want or need that is in service to my rest and restoration. I love having a day where nothing is planned and there are no appointments and I don’t have to be anywhere and I’m not doing a to-do list. I can have a slow day to do whatever I want. I might want to sleep in, garden because I enjoy it, hike with my dog, spend time in nature, practice mindfulness, meditate, take an extra-long bath, etc. I want to practice “being” rather than “doing” so I feel fully restored at the end of the day so whatever that is that makes me feel that way I will want to do.

• I would like to try this too. I tend to feel like I need to get things done so I can relax, but I am thinking I might make better decisions and choices if I could tune into my intuition instead of the anxiety driving me to get things finished. Thanks again!!

• Well, I'm very excited to see this! Starting about a month ago, I decided to take Thursday off completely -- no tech, no to-dos, no calls, no appointments, just blank space on the calendar. I had to rearrange a couple of regular calls but was able to do that and now the bar is VERY VERY high for me to schedule something that day. Wednesday night I feel so excited, and then getting to sleep in, take everything slow, do things out of order (meditate late in the day instead of a.m.). I've gone through my calendar for the year and marked all the Thursdays. PS I started months ago with a partial day which was wonderful too

• I love that you brought this up, Julie. I find this so important even though I don’t think it’s understood by the people around me who have said ‘it’s important to work hard now, so it can pay off later’ etc. Even so, I decided to have Fridays off a few months back and it makes such a difference to just have that extra day to really slow down before the rest of the world has the weekend. I enjoy sleeping in, having a tea in bed whilst reading, going back to sleep, and then just getting out into nature in the afternoon on these days. I find it’s important for me to have this day whilst my partner is working too. Having more space between the working weeks really supports my nervous system it feels 💙

• I usually have a cruisy day on Fridays and the whole one day off a week is definitely something I'll try to start incorporating as I think it would do me the world of good. I had a break a while ago and watered some of the plants outside and put the birdseed out. There was just a little bit of sunshine and it felt glorious. A whole unscheduled day sounds amazing.

Looking for more tips to thrive? Explore my online, self-paced course created to help HSPs thrive to their fullest potential!

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Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Julie offers multiple essential resources for educating, inspiring, and empowering HSPs.

Register for her free Masterclasses and profoundly transform your life in her courses and community.

Her HSP Dating Group is a safe space bringing together conscious, kind, caring HSPs (both Hetero and LGBTQ+).

Her HSPs in Business Group supports and empowers sensitive people to grow heart-centered businesses, share their voices, and be part of the change the world needs.

Explore Julie’s website dedicated to supporting HSPs and download a free letter to give medical and mental health professionals about high sensitivity. ❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)