Transitioning from Harmful Unmoderated Social Media to Conscious, Supportive Communities for Sensitives by Julie Bjelland, LMFT
Continuous exposure to traumatic content on social media can contribute to mental health issues in highly sensitive people. Sensitive people, by nature, are more attuned to emotional stimuli. On social media, we are often bombarded with distressing news, graphic images, unmoderated and anonymous hostility, and violent content. The continuous exposure to such trauma can lead to heightened anxiety, stress, and a sense of helplessness. Moreover, witnessing the pain and suffering of others can evoke profound empathy, causing vicarious trauma, where sensitive individuals experience symptoms similar to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
Research Findings
Research in the mental health field supports social media's adverse effects on sensitive individuals. Numerous studies have indicated a strong correlation between excessive social media usage and increased anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. A study published in the Journal of Abnormal Psychology in 2019 found a significant rise in major depressive episodes among young adults in the United States, coinciding with the widespread use of social media platforms. The exposure to distressing content was identified as a contributing factor.
Another study conducted by the Pew Research Center revealed that 67% of adults in the United States get their news from social media. This statistic is alarming for sensitive individuals, as it means a constant influx of potentially traumatizing news stories and images, further exacerbating their mental health challenges.
The Dangers of Unregulated, Unmoderated Spaces
With its vast and unregulated expanse, social media often becomes a battleground of unmoderated conversations and harsh communication, significantly impacting sensitive individuals. In the realm of cyberspace, where anonymity can fuel hostility, civility can easily be overshadowed by aggressive discourse. The lack of moderation and the prevalence of negativity affect sensitive people attuned to the nuances of communication. The absence of connection strips away empathetic cues, making it easier for individuals to indulge in harsh comments, cyberbullying, and trolling. For sensitive souls, these interactions can feel like emotional assaults, leading to heightened stress, anxiety, and a diminished sense of self-worth. The incessant exposure to unkind words and hostile exchanges leaves a lasting imprint on their mental health, making it imperative to recognize the dire need for more considerate and moderated digital spaces that prioritize respectful dialogue and foster a nurturing environment for all users.
Sensory Overload
In our digital age, our senses are bombarded predominantly by visual stimuli. It's astounding to note that a staggering 80% of overstimulation is visual. This fact underscores the profound impact of visual stimuli on our thoughts, emotions, and overall cognitive processes. As screens become ubiquitous in our daily lives, this constant flood of visual input takes on new significance. In the world of social media, where our screens transform into battlegrounds for attention, this bombardment intensifies.
The Impact of Relentless Advertising
As we scroll through social media platforms, our eyes are assaulted by a relentless stream of colorful, attention-grabbing advertisements. For sensitive individuals, already predisposed to heightened sensory experiences, this visual onslaught becomes more than just an inconvenience—it transforms into a source of heightened stress and anxiety. These ads disrupt our ability to focus on the content we seek and create a pervasive sense of intrusion. The result is a digital landscape cluttered with visual noise, making genuine moments of peace and connection elusive.
An Empowered, Positive Alternative
Recognizing the importance of connecting with other sensitive people around the globe, I knew there was a better way. By fostering a supportive online community, we can mitigate the negative effects of social media on sensitive souls, ensuring that the digital landscape becomes a safer space.
The Sensitive Empowerment Community: A Haven for HSPs
When I created The Sensitive Empowerment Community on a private platform (away from social media), I envisioned it as a space that feels good to spend time in as sensitive people and where we practice conscious communication. As HSPs, we absorb energy more than most and can be particularly impacted when reading something someone wrote when they were inside the intensity of feeling emotionally reactive, deeply in pain, or intensely imbalanced, for example.
Amidst the chaos of unmoderated social media, the Sensitive Empowerment Community stands as a testament to the power of understanding, compassion, and conscious communication. Here, sensitivity is not seen as a weakness but as a strength, celebrated for its unique gifts. Unlike the tumultuous world of mainstream social media, this private platform is a haven of positivity, carefully curated to foster a sense of safety and belonging. In this empowering space, members are encouraged to express their emotions authentically, embracing their vulnerability while learning to navigate their feelings with grace and resilience.
No Advertising = No Overstimulation!
We are intentional about no advertising in our community and keeping the level of overstimulation low. This often means that you feel filled up with the content rather than depleted.
Empathetic Communication and Supportive Connections
One of the defining features of the Sensitive Empowerment Community is its emphasis on empathetic communication. Words are chosen thoughtfully, recognizing their impact on the emotional well-being of fellow members. Empathy and understanding flow freely, creating an atmosphere where individuals feel heard, valued, and supported. Community members forge connections that go beyond the digital realm by sharing experiences, discussing challenges, and offering support. These connections become pillars of strength, grounding sensitive individuals in times of emotional turbulence.
Empowerment Through Conscious Choices
In this nurturing environment, members are empowered to make conscious choices about their emotional well-being. Conscious communication is not just encouraged; it is cultivated as a way of life. Members are guided to express their emotions from a place of reflection and intention, sharing their struggles and the tools and techniques that have helped them navigate difficult situations. By fostering self-awareness and self-responsibility, the community becomes a catalyst for personal growth and emotional resilience.
A Sanctuary in the Digital Wilderness
The Sensitive Empowerment Community is more than just a digital space; it is a sanctuary in the vast wilderness of the internet. Here, sensitivity is not a burden but a gift, and empathy is the currency that fosters meaningful connections. In a world where social media often amplifies negativity, this community stands as a beacon of hope and understanding. Through conscious communication, mutual support, and empathetic connections, sensitive individuals find solace, strength, and a renewed sense of purpose. In this empowering space, they discover that their sensitivity is not just accepted but celebrated, transforming their digital experience into one of profound positivity and growth. 🌸
Empowered Communication: A Profound Difference
Within our guidelines in the community, I have an article that talks about the difference between communicating in empowered ways versus reactionary ways.
On social media, it is common to see reactional “dumping” of something someone may be struggling with. It comes exclusively from the emotional brain and can feel stressful to others because it's written when someone is feeling reactionary. An HSP reading this can absorb that suffering. It is kind of like vomiting out everything they feel all at once, leaving the reader stressed, too. There are many other communities that are full of people doing this, and many sensitive people have shared that those communities are too stressful to spend time in. Reactionary dumping can bring down a community rather than empower it.
I make a conscious choice to keep The Sensitive Empowerment Community a space of empowerment where instead of posting when we are reactionary, we talk more deeply about where we are, what we might need, and how to use tools that help and lift us all up in the world. It keeps our community feeling safe and positive and empowering to spend time in.
Talking about what we are struggling with in an empowered way means we are intentional and conscious. We have been actively working on developing tools, reading through and learning from the wealth of resources in this community, the topics, engaging the events and the recordings in our replay library, prioritizing our balance, and practicing the self-care we’ve been learning about.
Can you post about hard emotions in the community?
Absolutely! We are emotional beings and encourage talking about emotions—to be clear, we’re not prohibiting members from talking about things that could be perceived as negative but are explicit about asking that people write about these difficult experiences in a reflective and constructive way when they’ve gotten out of a moment of crisis and feel more grounded.
This is a very important distinction as it makes a huge difference in how readers absorb the information from a post that’s unbalanced and chaotic or desperate, or very critical and angry, to a post that admits feelings of anger and desperation in response to a situation but then also shares what tools they’ve tried and other things they’ve noticed or learned about their difficult experience.
I share several personal stories about difficult and emotionally painful experiences and have modeled ways we can express ourselves authentically. I share the challenges I faced and the tools that I found helpful. That way, I can share my story and connect with others who have experienced something similar, but I don't leave anyone worried about me or have them absorb the pain of the experience.
To help further clarify, here are some examples...
A Dumping Post Example:
HELP! I feel lost and hopeless and don't know what to do. (alarming to the reader) I don't think anyone can help me. (unempowered). Tools don't work on me. (lack of taking self-responsibility and action, leaving the burden on the reader) I am not ok. (alarming to read this).
This post can leave the person reading the post concerned or stressed. It's written at the peak of the emotional chaos, with no tools or conscious, empowered choices mentioned. This leaves the community feeling like they have to put energy into helping or fixing. If there are a lot of posts like this, it also creates a community that feels stressful to spend time in. Instead, I would encourage this person to seek support from a professional to support them at an emotionally chaotic peak and come back and share some of what helped them get back into balance.
An Empowered Post Example:
I had a really hard morning, and I was crying, and I remembered Julie talking about the self-compassion technique, so I tried that, and it really helped me. (we are expressing our real emotions and taking responsibility for consciously choosing to try a tool, which is inspiring and empowering).
I followed that up by taking some time off from work to spend time in nature and practice some much-needed self-care. I listened to some of Julie's meditations and practiced the tools I learned at last week's event. (intentional use of tools is empowering).
I also reached out to my therapist to help me uncover and understand my intense emotions. It felt empowering to take care of myself in these ways. (recognized reaching out to a professional is the right place to uncover those SUPER intense emotions and also get needed one-on-one support).
I am noticing I am still trying to catch my early body cues and tend to ignore my needs, and sometimes I judge myself about that. Do any of you experience that, too? (consciously observing your experience and talking about it from this place of consciousness is a beautiful part of growth, and engaging with each other helps to feel normalized and validated).
It feels good to be in a community that understands me and inspires me to use my tools. (shares appreciation for the community, which feels good to everyone reading).
Notice how you can still share your emotions, but you are conscious and sharing that you are also actively trying to use new tools by watching events, and you even shared what helped. This kind of post is inspiring and teaches us ways we can also support ourselves.
Creating a Conscious Community
I have loved creating a community that uplifts us, raises our vibration, and empowers us. Our team actively moderates this community to keep it safe, conscious, and intentional. Our giving and receiving philosophy creates a healthy balance in developing lasting, meaningful connections and friendships.
Members find it profound being surrounded by only kind-hearted, sensitive people making a conscious choice to be here in an empowered community. We enjoy daily conversations, weekly events, virtual meet and greets, and even posting pictures of sunsets, our pets, trees, nature time, creativity, and more. It’s also been proven to improve mental health!
Here are some of the things HSPs have shared after reading about our intention for conscious communication…
I just love everything about this. I did not have emotional regulation modeled for me growing up and I feel like I am just getting good at this at age 52. It is so meaningful to me to be part of a group that feels and cares deeply, but who are also sensitive to emotional dumping and need boundaries and protection from dumping. Reading this detailed description is so helpful as one of many tools to emotionally regulate. My nervous system is so healed since practicing these kinds of tools. Thank you for holding the empowerment container!
I had never thought about dumping until I read this article. Wow, what a difference having knowledge can make. There are other sites that suck my energy and I never knew why. I would simply jump right in and engage, try to help. Your explanation of dumping makes so much sense. Refreshing!!
This is wonderful and a huge reason why this community is such a supportive, calming place for us to be!!🙏💕 Thank you!
This is extremely helpful, and I think that anyone who is holding space for community would really benefit from adopting these rules for engaging people in a intentional and empowered way. Thank you so much for creating this post, Julie I really appreciate it.
What a fabulous distinction! This is why I love this community. There are a lot of groups on social media for HSPs that truly are a dumping ground and leave me feeling awful. Discussions revolving around challenges are fine, but like you said, in a manner that is open to being proactive and working toward solutions. Thanks Julie for modeling empowerment.
Thank you for this, Julie Bjelland. I couldn't have articulated what makes this community special but you have utterly captured it. I find tremendous value in learning from others who experience life the way I do--hearing how my fellow HSPs get through difficult moments, stay balanced, find joy.
I warmly invite you to join our kind-hearted sensitive family
Being together in a multi-generational, globally sensitive family feels so good. We are there for each other and develop meaningful, long-lasting friendships and connections. We share tools that help us reduce the challenges of being sensitive in a world not set up for it, and normalizing and validating our experiences is profound!
Members often express it’s the first time they have begun to truly love who they are. That’s so beautiful!
The Sensitive Empowerment Community has been rated as an “exceptional community” with a whopping 93.5% retention rate (the standard retention rate for communities is only 30%). These remarkable statistics bear witness to the dedication, compassion, and encouragement that our team of HSPs pours into this community full of kind-hearted HSPs! By offering a positive, deliberate, and empowering alternative to traditional social media for sensitive individuals, this community is transforming the lives of HSPs globally.