Alone Time is a Necessity for HSPs

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) need daily downtime that is alone, unstructured, and unplugged. If you are always taking in extra sensory and data information, it will lead to nervous system overload. This trait of high sensitivity is scientifically known as Sensory Processing Sensitivity. We take in hundreds of cups of data and sensory input, whereas someone without this trait takes in just a few cups. Therefore, we have more to process, especially those that scored high on my Sensitivity Quiz Scale.

When the nervous system doesn't get time to turn off, even away from someone's energy in the room, this nervous system "engine" gets overwhelmed. Think of it like pushing the gas pedal on a car all day long; the engine will burn out. So if you are continually activating your supercomputer brain, you will burn out too. Additionally, you are a specialty car with high performance, and therefore need the right type of care and maintenance. 

Daily meditation, a mindfulness practice, time in nature, and silence are essential for a sensitive nervous system. When we push the gas pedal down all day and get burnt out, the following symptoms are common:

• Fatigue

• You might feel emotionally reactive.

• Sensitivity challenges increase (sounds, lights, textures, etc. can bother you more)

• Irritable, finding other people more annoying or agitating

• Limited patience

• Difficulty focusing and concentrating

• More activated fight/flight can cause anger bursts or feelings of needing to flee. 

• Increased heart rate

• Increase in feelings of anxiety

• Difficulty coping with stressors

• Increased pain response

• Chronic health conditions developing or worsening.

• Panic Attacks

• Low sex drive

• Feelings of extreme discontent

• Depression

When an HSP gets the right amount of quiet time alone, they can improve all of these! It's a profoundly different experience living in the world with a balanced nervous system. 

I used to experience an overloaded nervous system and thought there was something wrong with me, and I struggled a lot. When I started learning about the HSP brain and nervous system differences, and then working with and researching HSPs, as a psychotherapist, I learned so much!

There was a massive difference in HSPs who practiced daily intentional self-care and downtime. 

HSPs reported feeling more energy, sleeping better, increased creativity, focus, and productivity. Patience improved, and many parents shared they finally could enjoy spending time with their kids and be the type of parent they wanted to be, rather than feel like they were in survival mode all the time with short tempers. Conflict decreased, relationships improved, and overall wellness improved. HSPs reported feeling better than they ever have, which improved all aspects of life.

How much time is enough? 

I recommend about 2 hours per day or enough time where you reach a state of relaxation and can feel your body soften, and you have had enough time to process, rest, restore, and recharge. Some people prefer it all at once and some find they might do one hour in the morning before everyone is up and another hour in another part of the day, for example. Experiment with what makes you feel your best. If you have been burnt out for years, 2 hours won't fix it immediately, but if this becomes an active, daily practice you can experience incredible shifts in your wellness and balance. It's one of my favorite parts of my work, getting to witness HSPs recognizing how good they can feel, which leads them to their incredible gifts!  

The world needs you thriving. 

During this daily alone time, you will want to be in nature alone, meditate, journal alone, etc, and do NOT do chores or work and not on social media or taking anything "in."  Your phone should be turned off and notifications silence. Every time you hear a ping on your devices your brain goes into “to-do” mode, so this is a time of quiet.

This is a time for rest, processing, and not taking anything "new" in.  

If you think you don't have enough time to do this or your life is too chaotic, consider this… When you get sick, you are forced to take the time to recover. But how about we recover before we get sick? You will also get "more done" when you are focused and strong and resilient, so HSPs that take this intentional time end up being more productive!

If you are a parent of young kids, it's challenging, but having someone watch the kids daily for 1-2 hours while you can be alone to process everything and rest your nervous system will ultimately improve your health. You'll also be more productive, creative, joyful, patient, loving, happy, and healthy, etc.

Honoring and prioritizing your health and your needs is an act of love for your family

You will be a lot healthier and happier, which benefits everyone! If we don't get this alone time (where you don't even hear the kids or have any responsibility to turn off and go within completely), it causes this build up in the nervous system. 

Ultimately, you are the one that needs to value your health enough to make this happen. You need to set the priority, set boundaries, make the changes, and advocate for your needs. 

If this nervous system container gets full, sensitivity challenges increase. If you get enough unstructured downtime to rest and restore, your sensitivity challenges decrease. How we take care of ourselves has a direct effect on lowering our challenges and increasing our ability to thrive to our fullest potential.

It might take time to implement lifestyle choices and changes that can make this happen consistently, but your health is at stake. 

Alone time is not a luxury; it is a medical necessity for HSPs

Are you able to honor and advocate for your needs?

If you are struggling with anxiety, high stress, or feeling emotionally reactive,

I recommend my free Masterclass, High Sensitivity and Anxiety

Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued, and honored. Julie offers multiple essential resources for educating, inspiring, and empowering HSPs. Register for her free Masterclasses, take the Sensitivity Quiz and profoundly transform your life in her courses and community. Her HSPs in Business Group is designed to support and empower sensitive people to grow heart-centered businesses, share their voices, and be part of the change the world needs. JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)