Being vs. Doing - A Different Kind of New Year’s Resolution by Julie Aird

Guest Post

For most of my adult life, at least 35 years, I’ve been on a personal and spiritual journey…a quest for fulfillment.  But the last few years have been significant because of one huge shift I’ve made….a shift from “Doing” to “Being.”  I finally feel like I’m creating a life that works for me as an HSP.  A life that I truly enjoy.  And the results have been a deep sense of contentment, peace, and fulfillment.  

Three years ago, I left a 30-year career in higher education to be a life coach and work for myself.  I went from a lifetime of busyness and doing (and the inevitable burn-out) to suddenly having a lot of extra time on my hands.  At first, I was quite uncomfortable.  So I joined a business program, which kept me extremely busy during my first year at home.  After burning out once more, I started to radically change my life.  I slowed down my pace.  I rested more.  I created more space and quiet time for myself.  And I spent more time in nature.  

As a result, the last few years have been a huge time of transformation for me.  It’s like I’ve been through detoxification from the busy, pushing way of doing life…the only way of life I ever knew… and how it seemed everybody lived.  It felt like I was being invited to go against the way the whole world works.  Which was tough because even though I wanted a new way to live, I feared not fitting in if I let go of all the “doing.”  

And by slowing down my pace of life, I had a lot more time to reflect within.  That wasn’t entirely new for me (we are wired to do a lot of internal processing as HSPs), but now I didn’t have anything limiting my time or distracting me.  I spent a lot of time grieving and releasing trauma from childhood.  And I let go of the identities I had held onto that made me feel important. 

After all that letting go, I started to feel a sense of fulfillment within.  This was new for me, to feel fulfilled when I was just “being.”  I had always sought fulfillment from doing, performing, being productive, or being important.  Or I kept busy with fun activities, continually looking outside myself for fulfillment.  And I feared time alone because I didn’t want to face what I might feel.  But now that I was facing this fear and allowing all the feelings to be there, I was actually starting to enjoy quiet time alone.  It was a balm to my nervous system and soul.  

So, it’s the beginning of a New Year.  Do you already have a list of things you want to do or do better? What things do you want to change about yourself or your life?  Before you start all that, I invite you to consider a different kind of New Year’s resolution.  

What if you could feel more peaceful and fulfilled by “being” instead of “doing”?   What if you let everything be as it is?  What if it was that simple to feel more fulfilled and at peace?  Allowing everything in your life…your circumstances, feelings, body, thoughts….just to be.  

I’ve learned that creating time to “be” each day is really important.  This is when you can feel and release emotions.  Release thoughts. And begin to sink into your True Self…that part of you that feels whole and fulfilled all the time.  The One behind your thoughts.  The One that is already at peace.

Does this surprise you?  That there’s a place in you that feels whole and complete all the time?  Perhaps this is a new idea for you, or you’ve never experienced this.  

But it’s true.  It’s there.   

The trouble is that many of us rarely connect with this part of ourselves.  We are caught in our heads and thoughts, and we think what it tells us is true.  We believe that the one doing the thinking IS us.   

But there is more to you than just your thoughts.  There is another part of you….the TRUE you.  I refer to that space in you as your “heart.”  Your heart is where messages of love, grace, acceptance, and ease come from.  Your heart tells you that you are okay as you are.  And your heart likes to “be.”  

Your head, on the other hand, likes to “do.”  And its messages say things like, “You should do this,”….“You have to do this,”….“If you don’t do this, ____ will happen,”….etc.  It tells you that you’re not okay as you are.  The head drives us to change things about ourselves to be more acceptable.  One thing I’ve learned, however, is that if we are constantly listening to our heads, we won’t feel peaceful and fulfilled because we will never be enough.  

So, would you like to start listening to your heart more?  Would you like to feel more peaceful and fulfilled?  I invite you to try this practice.  Begin by being quiet and still, and notice your breath.  Imagine your breath as a liquid light.  See the liquid light move down into your heart as you breathe.  Allow the light to fill your heart and radiate out, filling your whole body and shining out of you.  If thoughts continue to pop up, notice them and allow them to be.  Let them be like clouds floating by in the sky, or subtitles on your TV, scrolling off the screen. Just allow them to float or scroll by while you visualize the liquid light flowing into your heart.  Allow yourself to feel your heart space physically. Listen to the messages your heart has for you.  

You will begin to feel content and peaceful as you practice connecting with your heart.  Your compulsion to “do” or add anything to your life will diminish.  You will begin to feel complete as you are.  

When we slow down, listen to our hearts, and allow ourselves to “be,” we experience peace and fulfillment.  And we notice that our True Self was always there feeling this way!

If you’d like to learn more about living from your heart, I invite you to check out the book I co-authored “Divinity Speaks: Women Who Tune in and Trust Divine Inspiration.”  My chapter, entitled “The Richness of Life When I Listen to My Heart,” speaks of my own journey of finding fulfillment by listening to my heart.

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BIO

Julie Aird is an inspirational speaker, an ICF-credentialed coach, a spiritual director, and the Founder of Julie Aird Life Coaching. She is also the host of the Heart-Led Living podcast. 

Driven by her own journey of finding fulfillment within, Julie works with highly sensitive women who have pursued happiness in their career, relationships and family, but are not feeling satisfied.  Through powerful energetic and heart-led practices, inner child work, and mindset coaching, Julie’s clients experience a profound awakening to an abiding sense of peace and fulfillment within. 

Julie lives in Mission Viejo, California, with her husband, Steve, and her son, Jacob.  Julie can be found at: https://julieaird.com/

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Julie Bjelland is a psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, Author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, host of The HSP Podcast, and founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her books, blog, online courses, and free Webinars have helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) worldwide reduce their challenges, access their gifts, and discover their significant value to thrive to their fullest potential. Her HSPs in Heart-Centered Business Group connects and supports HSP healers and practitioners. Julie loves connecting in her Sensitive Empowerment Community and warmly invites you to join this positive, safe, and welcoming space. JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)