The Journey of Forgiveness for Highly Sensitive Souls by Amie Dean

Guest Post

Forgiveness is a deeply personal and transformative process that can mend broken hearts, repair fractured relationships, and release the heavy burden of resentment. It is an act of compassion and understanding, requiring strength and vulnerability. As Highly Sensitive People (HSPs), forgiveness becomes more profound and tender. Our heightened sensitivity allows us to feel the impact of emotional wounds deeply and makes it challenging to let go of hurtful experiences. Through forgiveness, we can honor our sensitive Souls, acknowledge the depth of our emotions, and choose to release the burdens that weigh us down. By embracing forgiveness, we gift ourselves the opportunity to heal, grow, and nurture our emotional well-being. It is a powerful act of self-care and compassion that allows us to create healthier relationships and cultivate a more harmonious and fulfilling life.

In this blog,  I will share a powerful forgiveness process to help you release the hurts of the past while sharing my heart with you along the way.  If your heart is heavy and you would like a map to understand better how to heal your pain– I  invite you to embark on a journey of forgiveness with me as we navigate the intricate landscape of our beautiful, sensitive hearts toward healing.  

A Sudden Loss and Forgiveness

Several weeks ago, my beloved cat fell ill and passed away. A deep grief came over me, and a flood of self-blame and guilt came with it. I couldn't help but question whether my decisions or actions had contributed to my cat's suffering. Alongside this, I found myself subtly blaming the veterinarian for their choices, wondering if there were alternative paths that could have prolonged my cat's life. I quickly realized that dwelling on the "what ifs" would only lead to further anguish. I knew I needed to forgive myself for any perceived shortcomings, acknowledging that I did the best I could with the knowledge and resources available at the time. However, it felt harder than I could have imagined- despite my conscious efforts to be kind to me and honor my experiences, in my grief,  parts of me grappled with letting go of the blame and resentment. My intuition, however, gently nudged me towards forgiveness, recognizing that the key to my healing led me to spend more time in self-care, self-compassion, and meditation.

Following a meditation session, I stumbled upon a powerful forgiveness process.  This process enabled me to release the weight of blame and resentment towards myself and the Veterinarian, which created a sense of relief from this additional suffering. This felt so freeing, as if I had been released from the prison of my pain– I could finally cradle my grief with kindness and honor my cat’s memory with love. 

Forgiveness Leads To Inner Freedom

You might think of forgiveness as the key that unlocks the prison doors that confine us to pain and suffering. We inadvertently become prisoners of our emotions when we hold onto grudges, resentments, and the weight of past hurts. The walls of anger, bitterness, and blame close in, limiting our ability to experience true freedom and peace.

Forgiveness is a powerful act that allows us to break free from our prison of pain, but it is important to emphasize that forgiveness does not condone or minimize the impact of the hurtful behavior; instead, it acknowledges our strength in choosing to let go and move forward towards healing. It is an act of liberation, allowing us to break free from the chains of negativity and reclaim our personal power.

Through forgiveness, we acknowledge our humanity and the flaws within ourselves, cultivating empathy and compassion not just for others but also for our own journey. Just as a prisoner is released from their cell, forgiveness grants us the freedom to move forward with grace and dignity. It opens the door to emotional healing, enabling us to embrace joy, love, and inner peace. As we let go of the pain, we create room for new possibilities, growth, and the ability to build healthier relationships.

The Forgiveness Process

Forgiveness is certainly a journey; as you explore this process, you don’t have to go through all these steps at once. You may fall back into anger, hurt, and more before you feel a complete sense of forgiveness. I encourage you to be so kind to yourself, as it’s all part of the non-linear healing process.

Step 1: Forgiveness is For You

As a recap, forgiving someone does not condone their behavior and does not mean you need to have a relationship with that person. When you forgive, you are making the choice to release yourself from the emotional prison of pain. When hurt and wanting to inflict pain upon another (even if only in the mind), it still hurts you– you can not remain unaffected. The first step is the recognition that while it seems you are forgiving the other person or situation, forgiveness is for you. When you come to this understanding, you are able to reach into your heart and access the key to let yourself out of the emotional prison. To help, you might consider starting with self-compassion; a simple statement toward yourself might be: “This is painful, and I choose to love myself through this.”

I also offer this downloadable Self-Compassion journal to support and enhance your progress in this step, allowing you to dive deeper inward before moving on to step two. This daily journal will help you to nurture yourself and guide you toward healing and opening your heart:
https://www.oneawakening.us/HSP-Self-Compassion-Journal

Step Two: Meaning Making

To fully forgive, it helps to have a newfound sense of growth and meaning as a result of that interaction with the person or situation.  To begin, you might ask :

• How has this situation helped me grow as a person? (If it hasn’t yet, you might ask- if I were to choose the forgiveness path, how would this situation help me grow as a person?) 

• What lessons are here for me to discover? What am I being called to change about myself or my life? 

• What Soulful values (such as compassion, freedom, respect, and inner peace) can I tap into that will help me live more authentic from here on out? What might that look like expressed to others? 

• If I fast forward ten years from now and look back, what do I imagine I have gained or discovered from this situation? How am I a more expanded, awake version of myself? How might I be making a positive impact on the world? (It can be small or large!) Visualize this and let yourself feel the positive effects!

Step Three: Find Common Humanity

This step may be the hardest for you- depending on the situation. This is why it comes last: we need a little more of an open heart to see our common humanity with others. For forgiveness to take place, it’s helpful to see the flaws of others as also being in you. This doesn’t mean that you would do the things that others have done to you, but it does mean you can see that the seeds of anger and pain are also in you. This step takes great courage to look at the parts of us, our shadow aspects, that we want to avoid. 

My favorite way of approaching this step is through Byron Katie’s “The Work.” I’ve studied her work for years and absolutely love how this process can help you feel more connected to yourself and others. You can find free resources on her website to explore this path here: (https://thework.com/)  To begin, make a list of everything negative you feel about the person or persons that hurt you, and sit with these questions as a meditation.

1. Can you know that it’s true?

2. Can I absolutely know that it’s true? (Let your heart answer this, not your head:) 

3. How do you react, what happens when you believe that thought?

4. Who would you be without that thought?

Then you turn it around  towards yourself:  “I am….”  And find three reasons why that’s just as true or truer.

Through the process of forgiveness, you will have the opportunity to experience a sense of liberation, as if your heart has been unburdened and opened to a newfound inner freedom. This transformative journey will empower you to release the pain and connect you with your intuition, allowing your deeper wisdom to guide you in handling the situation and the person involved with wisdom and grace.

As a recap, I recommend this Self-Compassion journal to get the most out of this forgiveness journey: https://www.oneawakening.us/HSP-Self-Compassion-Journal 

I’d love to hear what you discover as you embark upon the journey of healing your heart! Please do share below.

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Amie Dean is a Clinically Certified Trauma Professional and Awakening Transformation Coach specializing in high sensitivity. Her Awakened Living Community and online courses have helped hundreds of empaths and HSPs break free of the four core wounds hindering their growth in their spirituality, relationships, work/career, and life purpose. She guides them to fully align with their Higher Selves to awaken their true essence and live meaningfully while sharing their gifts with the world.

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Julie Bjelland, LMFT, is an HSP Psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, and founder of the exceptionally ranked Sensitive Empowerment Community. Julie's HSP Podcast is among the top 5% of the most shared and followed worldwide. Her online courses and free resources have helped millions of HSPs reduce the challenges of living with sensitivity, and her greatest joy lies in helping HSPs discover their significant value to the world. Julie's brain training program has proven to reduce anxiety within the first two weeks. Explore all her resources at JulieBjelland.com