Want to Know the Secret to Getting Everything Done and Still Have Lots of Energy and Time Leftover?

The secret is that you can't. You can't get EVERYTHING done.  I know it's tempting to try, and society certainly pushes us to think if we just work hard enough, we can get everything done. It doesn't also let us know that if we continually push ourselves, we will lose a balanced life and burn out. 

We are often high achievers, after all. Most of us are either perfectionists or recovering perfectionists. We want to get everything done right the first time, be productive, do good in the world, help others, and still feel balanced and in a good mood with lots of extra energy. We want to be the perfect friend, partner, co-worker, parent, child, sibling, human...  

But the world is TOO busy, and the expectations are too high in modern society for our sensitive nervous system. 

I also go through times when I wish I could say yes to everything that I get asked to do.  I wish I could keep up with people that seem to have bountiful energy and can go and go and go. But I can't. I have to accept that and not be hard on myself. I am not created that way.  My role is different than theirs. I take in a lot and process a lot, and I often have to do something different than most people around me if I want to stay well. 

We also have gifts that most people don't, so we are a package deal. 

Let's not waste precious energy being hard on ourselves anymore.  What if we put that energy into caring for what we need instead?  What if we really understood and valued that our role is unique and important in the world and caring for ourselves in a way that honors that role is what we need?

So what do we do when we are feeling the pressure?  

It might be powerful to talk about it with each other. 

This is part of the power of being together in my Sensitive Empowerment Community. If you aren’t yet a member I HIGHLY recommend it. It’s been a profound part of wellness for our HSP members. Most of us are surrounded by those without the trait who don't experience the world in the way that we do, and there are endless meetings, schedules, opportunities, and pressure in all directions.  

What do you do?  How do you prioritize what is important and set boundaries so you can meet your needs?  What have you done that helps you? What are areas you still want to work on?

Maybe you can get inspired by the shares of HSPs in our community  ❤️

• I just love this post and I couldn’t agree more with you!

• I love the title, paired with, The secret is you can't. Ha. Well said. I agree. Just can't. Learning to say no is a key tool for us. I have SO many interests that it's hard.

  Shortening the list is a primary thing I work with a coach for, to help me edit down my list. Having that outside mirroring of what really matters and what can be let go of, has helped a lot. It has also helped to train me on how to notice what to keep or not. I go by my body signals. Big yes and increasing energy is yes. Anything less usually needs to be a no, or at least questioned or revised before it gets to stay on the list. This is tricky with responsibilities but I try to connect it to something with a big yes, like community connections.

• I eagerly clicked this one looking for the "secret sauce" but was pleasantly surprised by the honest, "you can't " answer. Made me feel better. I'm a recovering perfectionist, and I still have the tendency to push myself to do "just one more thing" which is a slippery slope. Thank you Julie, for the gentle reminder.🥰

• Such an important and inspiring post Julie.

  You sum it up beautifully by saying:

  "What if we really understood and valued that our role is unique and important in the world and caring for ourselves in the way that honors that role is what we need?"

  I love the description for the 'secret sauce'. I think I've got the movie right but it reminded me of Kung Fu Panda when Po was asking about the secret noodle sauce and there was none! Can so relate to the perceived need of doing just one more thing :)

• This is so important - probably the thing I struggle w/ the most - I'm so focused on productivity, perfectionism and doing over being - I'm burnt out! But I'm working on it and here's something that I'm trying:

  Setting a priority to-do list that may consist of a household task (folding laundry), then another task (reschedule dental appt.), then self-care for a set period of time - rinse and repeat! I keep waiting until I do "all the things" to do self-care and guess what, there are always things and then not enough self-care happens.

  I may not feel like I can dedicate a 2-hour consecutive period of time every day for self-care and rest but I can set aside multiple pockets of time. And then plan for longer vacations to get loads of off time.

• So true that we are never done with everything and if we wait for self-care it won’t happen. so glad you’re working on ways that can help❤️

• This is so great Julie! Since I retired I’ve been very fortunate to be able to evaluate what I do and pace myself and to purposely choose to get less done in a day. I look back at when I was working and shake my head and realise how absolutely stressed I was trying to do so much. I use your phrase, ‘it makes a lot of sense’ to help me understand how I was and to give myself compassion. I feel like I’m a recovering perfectionist or mostly anyway. I’m prioritising and getting more sleep now since leaving my shiftwork profession. However, I’m still learning what I can and can’t do energy wise in regards to mainly social events. Your reminders about getting out into nature I find so very helpful.

• Julie, loved this.

  "I am not created that way. My role is different than theirs. I take in a lot and process a lot, and I have to often do something different than most people around me if I want to stay well."

  "What if we put that energy into caring for what we need instead? What if we really understood and valued that our role is unique and important in the world and caring for ourselves in the way that honors that role is what we need?"

I hoped that helped you feel validated too. It’s so important for us to talk about what supports us as highly sensitive people. I hope you can join us on our upcoming podcast episode where we will be talking about preventing burnout in HSPs. We record live in our Sensitive Empowerment Community and love to have you join us!

It’s amazing being together and celebrating the gifts of being an HSP! We warmly invite you to join our Sensitive Empowerment Community and make kind-hearted HSP friends in this supportive, positive, inclusive, conscious HSP community.

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Julie Bjelland is a psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, Author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, host of The HSP Podcast, and founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her books, blog, online courses, and free webinars have helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) worldwide reduce their challenges, access their gifts, and discover their significant value to thrive to their fullest potential. Her HSPs in Heart-Centered Business Group connect and support HSP healers and practitioners. Julie loves connecting in her Sensitive Empowerment Community and warmly invites you to join this positive, safe, and welcoming space. JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)