3 Reasons HSPs Think Self-Employment Isn't for Them (Even Though It Is) by Val Nelson
Guest post
I could never be self-employed. As a career and business coach for highly sensitive people (HSP) and introverts, I hear that a lot, and I used to think that too. I found three things that most often get in the way:
Believing you are not a risk taker.
Hating networking.
Feeling icky about marketing.
In my experience with self-employment, I discovered these don’t have to stop HSPs from choosing self-employment. These concerns are all based on misconceptions.
In fact, rethinking these misconceptions can have a lot of benefit, whatever you decide about your work life.
Busting Myths about Self-Employment for HSPs
If you’re curious about self-employment, but have reservations, I invite you to reconsider. Here are some things to help.
HSPs Are a Different Kind of Risk Taker.
HSP brains are wired to observe before acting which affects the speed of decision making and the kinds of risks HSPs are willing to take. But I’d argue that we are still risk takers.
You can do something that feels like playing it safe, such as saying yes when you want to say no, and it’s still actually a risk. Things you think of as fun can actually be risky. Heck, getting in a car is risky. You are a risk taker.
You can analyze the situation, get informed, think through various challenges and potential ways of dealing with them before you make the decision. It’s still a risk, but it might feel less risky because you took your time with it. That’s a measured risk, which is the best kind of risk taking, in my book.
In fact, shoot for measured risks. That’s how the most successful people do it. Cliff jumping is not required.
In my case, self-employment eventually felt like a not just a crazy idea, but a logical choice that benefited my well-being.
A number of my business coaching clients have faced the seemingly scary cliff of self-employment, and after a closer look, decided to move forward (even when they thought they weren’t a risk taker). They were able to find the step-by-step stairway instead of jumping off a cliff.
Networking Doesn’t Have to Be Draining for HSPs.
When you picture networking, do you get an image of “working the room,” having an elevator pitch, bragging about yourself, and talking to lots and lots of people?
No wonder you dread networking.
It helps to think of networking simply as having meaningful conversations and sharing information—or even better as connecting with kindred spirits. Real-life networking skills that work best include: listening, being authentic and real, and being helpful. HSPs tend to be great at that.
If you’re thinking, “I can do all those things, but I hate networking events,” the good news is, you don’t have to go to them. Networking doesn’t have to be painful.
You can network in a way that feels good to you. Try meeting one-on-one with colleagues you already like, to learn more about each other’s work and goals. And if somebody in an online forum says something that intrigues you, respond and continue the conversation.
Yes, you’ll need to have buyers for your services or products to make your business work, but networking isn’t about making the sale.
It’s about making connections. I’ve invited people into more conversation, such as a Zoom tea, with no sales pitch involved. It came from genuine interest on my part, and that’s fun if it’s genuine. (Networking can be fun? Yes, if you follow what you truly want to do.)
I’ve found places where like-minded people hang out online (like Julie Bjelland’s community for HSPs) and commented and at times have reached out to connect more, just from pure interest.
From those kinds of conversations, I’ve ended up getting and making referrals, gaining a mentor, and finding new clients. The key was going into it open to connection, not going for a specific outcome.
You can drop the word networking, and just call it connecting with kindred spirits. You’re good at connecting with kindred spirits.
Maybe Marketing Isn’t as Bad as You Think (when you do it your way).
Marketing keeps a lot of highly sensitive people thinking they can’t go the self-employed route. Most people have a lot of misconceptions about marketing: that you have to be pushy, or visible everywhere, or on social media constantly. That can feel overwhelming.
If marketing feels icky, it’s not likely to be effective. My first piece of advice for marketing: if it feels icky, stop doing it. Learn more about authentic marketing methods and choose what feels fun. Lean into what you love and keep showing up as you.
One of my methods is one-to-one networking, as I described it above. And I’ve used blogging and SEO to help people find me when they’re searching online. All of these things work fine for this HSP and introverted self-employed coach. And I even enjoy it.
You’ll have your own ways of attracting clients that feel natural and aligned with who you are and what you love to do. A business coach for HSPs can help you discover what will work best for you.
Why Self-Employment Is Actually a Great Fit for HSPs
What a difference it can make when you’re in charge of your own time and your own way of doing things. You can protect your energy, be your true self, and really thrive and achieve like never before. That’s the beauty of self-employment.
If you can get past the mental roadblocks we just unpacked and learn what actually works, self-employment has a lot to offer for highly sensitive people.
Wouldn’t you love:
Time to think in quiet.
To choose when and how much you interact with others.
Being able to adjust how much of anything you do, as needed for your energy ups and downs, because you’re the boss.
Setting your own hours.
Choosing clients, so that they are never draining and maybe are energizing.
The flexibility to rest or be in nature during the day.
Doing your work (even marketing) in a way that feels right to you.
Setting up a work environment that feels good.
Those are some of the benefits of self-employment that can make work a more natural fit for us HSPs.
Getting Ready to Take the (Gradual) Leap
Maybe you’re now starting to have more openness to the idea of self-employment for HSPs. Great! I think we are naturals for it.
Still, I know it can be scary to make the change. Remember that you can make it a measured, thought-out transition. You can explore, ask questions, plan, work through fears and choose self-employment in a gradual way.
Because I’m so passionate about HSP freedom and making it easier for us to share our gifts with the world, I created the online course Bridge to Self-Employment to help HSPs and introverts explore self-employment and calm those worries. It includes lessons, interaction opportunities, and behind-the-scenes stories about people like you making it work.
Self-employment can be a great fit for many HSPs, allowing them to thrive at work. If you’ve thought self-employment wasn’t an option for you, it’s worth another look.
Val is a self-employed career and business coach for highly sensitive people (HSPs) and introverts who want meaningful work without the overwhelm. Learn more about Val, her coaching, courses, and groups at ValNelson.com. She shares lots of tips and stories on her blog and newsletter for introverts and HSPs.
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Julie Bjelland is a psychotherapist specializing in high sensitivity, Author of The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person, host of The HSP Podcast, and founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community. Her books, blog, online courses, and free Webinars have helped thousands of highly sensitive people (HSPs) worldwide reduce their challenges, access their gifts, and discover their significant value to thrive to their fullest potential. Her HSPs in Heart-Centered Business Group connects and supports HSP healers and practitioners. Julie loves connecting in her Sensitive Empowerment Community and warmly invites you to join this positive, safe, and welcoming space. JulieBjelland.com❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)
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