The Sensitive Person's Toolkit for Tough Days by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

We often experience life with heightened emotions and deep empathy as sensitive people. While these traits are incredible strengths, they can make challenging seasons feel even more overwhelming. Whether navigating grief, stress, or a tough day, having an Emotional Toolkit ready can be incredibly helpful. In this article, I’ll share some essential tools and strategies that have supported me, particularly as I continue to grieve the loss of my mom. My hope is that these ideas will help you build your own toolkit to support you on your hard days.

1. Immediate Relief: Cold Water and Ice

In the toughest moments, when emotions feel too intense to handle, physical methods like cold exposure can be incredibly grounding. Dunking your face in cold water or using an ice pack on your neck or head can help calm your nervous system.

How Cold Therapy Works: Cold therapy influences the autonomic nervous system, which includes the sympathetic nervous system (SNS) and the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).

• Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS): Known as the "fight or flight" system, the SNS prepares the body to respond to stress by increasing heart rate and alertness. When you first expose your body to cold, the SNS is activated, creating an initial burst of energy and alertness.

• Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS): Also called the "rest and digest" system, the PNS promotes relaxation and recovery. After the initial shock of cold exposure, the PNS kicks in, slowing the heart rate and promoting a calming effect. This is why cold therapy can reduce anxiety and stress after the initial cold shock.

How to Use:

• Dunking Your Face: Fill a bowl with cold water and immerse your face for 15-30 seconds. This triggers the mammalian dive reflex, which activates the PNS and helps to calm the body.

• Ice Pack: Place an ice pack on the back of your neck or head for a few minutes. This can help reduce feelings of overwhelm and anxiety by balancing the SNS and PNS responses.

2. Work with a Therapist or Healer

Having professional support is crucial. Whether navigating ongoing challenges or needing help with a specific issue, working with a therapist or healer can provide you with the tools and guidance you need. Our directory of sensitive therapists and healers can help you find a supportive therapist.

3. Reach Out for Support

Contact a supportive friend or join our nurturing Sensitive Empowerment Community. Sharing your feelings with others who understand can be incredibly healing.

4. General Care

Self-Compassion Self-compassion is the cornerstone of any Emotional Toolkit. It’s about treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a close friend. Remember to practice self-compassion on tough days when your inner critic might be particularly loud. Here's a video of me teaching it. We also have a free Nurturing Compassion course starting soon in our Sensitive Empowerment Community.

How to Practice:

• Gentle Affirmations: Write or say affirmations like, "It’s okay to feel this way," or "I’m doing the best I can."

• Mindful Self-Talk: When you notice harsh thoughts, gently reframe them into more supportive and understanding ones.

Grounding Techniques When emotions run high, grounding techniques can help bring you back to the present moment and provide stability. Grounding can be physical, such as going barefoot on the earth, sand, grass, or water.

Examples of Grounding Techniques:

• 5-4-3-2-1 Method: Identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

• Deep Breathing: Focus on your breath, inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling through your mouth. If it helps, count each breath. Here's a free, calming breath guide.

Connection to Nature Nature has a calming and restorative effect, especially for sensitive individuals. Spending time in nature can help regulate your nervous system and provide a much-needed break from overwhelming emotions.

Ways to Connect:

• Walk Outdoors: Walk in a park, by the beach, or any natural setting. Focus on the sights, sounds, and smells of nature.

• Nature Meditation: Sit quietly in nature and observe the environment around you. Notice how the natural world moves at its own pace. I’ve also recorded several free meditations on The HSP and Neurodivergent Podcast.

Creative Expression Creativity can be a powerful outlet for processing emotions. Whether through writing, painting, music, or any other form of creative expression, allowing yourself to channel your feelings into something creative can be cathartic and healing.

Creative Activities:

• Journaling: Write about your feelings without judgment. Let the words flow freely.

• Artistic Expression: Use art supplies to draw, paint, or craft how you’re feeling. There’s no need to be perfect—this is about expression, not artistry.

Comforting Rituals Having a set of comforting rituals can provide structure and solace on tough days. These rituals can be anything that brings you a sense of peace or familiarity.

Examples of Comforting Rituals:

• Morning or Evening Routine: Create a nurturing routine, such as drinking a warm cup of tea, reading a favorite book, or taking a soothing bath.

• Mindful Moments: Incorporate small, mindful moments throughout your day, like lighting a candle, listening to calming music, or spending time with a beloved pet.

Supportive Connections While being gentle with yourself is essential, connecting with others who understand and support you can also be incredibly healing. Whether it’s a friend, family member, therapist, or an online community like ours, don’t hesitate to reach out when you need support.

Mind-Body Practices Practices that connect the mind and body, such as yoga, tai chi, or even simple stretching, can help release tension and promote relaxation. These practices encourage you to focus on your body’s needs, fostering a sense of connection and well-being.

Mind-Body Practices to Try:

• Yoga: Gentle yoga practices, especially those focusing on relaxation and breathing, can be particularly beneficial on tough days. We have several free yoga practices, especially for sensitive souls, available in our community.

• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and then slowly release each muscle group in your body, starting from your toes and moving up to your head.

Ideas From Other Sensitives

The Sensitive Empowerment Community members shared their favorite self-care practices, ranging from magnesium baths, meditation, and nature walks to creating quiet environments and enjoying simple pleasures like lemonade or a warm cup of tea. They also find comfort in soothing music, essential oils, and connecting with their inner child. A warm hug from someone who cares, a hot water bottle, and the calming presence of crystals were also highlighted. Some cherish a walk along the beach in light rain followed by a warm bath with candlelight and sweet music, while others value supportive conversations with friends. These practices underscore the importance of comfort, relaxation, and nurturing connections in managing sensitivity and well-being."

Closing Thoughts

As you navigate life as a sensitive person, remember that tough days are a part of the journey, and it’s okay to need extra support during these times. Building your Emotional Toolkit is an ongoing process, and filling it with tools that resonate with you is essential. Whether you need grounding techniques, creative outlets, or the comfort of nature, these tools can help you face life’s challenges with more ease and compassion. You’re not alone in this journey, and by nurturing yourself, you’re building resilience and strength that will carry you through even the hardest of days.

On tough days or moments…

Focus only on loving yourself through that day.

Navigating life as a sensitive or neurodivergent person can be challenging, but you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re looking for more ways to balance your sensitive nervous system daily, I invite you to explore our HSP and Neurodivergent Toolbox course. This course provides practical, easy-to-use tools to help you manage sensory overload, reduce stress, and enhance overall well-being.

What You’ll Learn:

• Daily practices to calm your nervous system

• Techniques for preventing overwhelm

• Strategies for emotional regulation

• Methods to increase your resilience

Get Your Full Toolbox
Start building your personalized toolkit for daily balance and resilience. You deserve to feel empowered, supported, and in control of your sensitivity. Learn more about the HSP and Neurodivergent Toolbox course.

Talk to Me

I offer one-on-one sessions. Book a session with me here.

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I’m Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity, neurodivergence, and adult-discovered autism in women and AFAB individuals. I love developing tools that balance our sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and help us reach our fullest potential so we may excel in our unique talents. I’ve created a global hub of extensive support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. My passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. LGBTQIA+ and Neuroaffirming. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com

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