How to Explain the Trait of High Sensitivity to Someone
Explaining The Trait Of The Highly Sensitive Person To Someone Else:
A lot of HSPs ask me how I would describe the trait to someone. I wrote this out in hopes you may find this helpful. I think when we want to teach someone about this trait it is important to do it with an energetic feeling that you are educating them about something that you are excited to have learned about yourself. If we talk about it as if something is wrong with us, then we project we think there is something wrong. So start off with the projection that this is an awesome trait that has a lot of positives and also some challenges.
With that said, I might say something like…
Have you ever heard of the trait called the highly sensitive person or sensory processing sensitivity?
If they say no, then I will say…
It’s an innate trait that makes up about 20% of the population and is also found in several species of animals. It’s equal in gender, about 70% of us are introverts, and they have already seen this trait in over 100 species. It evolved as a type of survival strategy of the population. Those of us with this trait have some extra special abilities that involve a unique way of processing additional, subtle details. We process information deeply, are aware of subtle details, and experience more emotional responsiveness. We tend to be extra compassionate and empathetic and can read micro-expressions, that up to 80% of the population misses. Imagine that the other 80% have about three tubes of information coming into their brains. HSPs, have 50-100 tubes of data coming in to process.
As you can imagine, taking in so much information so often can feel quite overwhelming and exhausting at times and is the reason I might get overstimulated and need extra time to myself to process it all. To function our best, we usually need more breaks, and quiet, downtime.
It’s a pretty remarkable trait, and there is a lot to learn about it if you would like to know more. Learning about it has helped me understand myself better, and I would love to teach you more about it too so you can also understand me better.
(Then, here is where you can add in specifics depending on your circumstances). If I’m trying to teach my family or friends, I might add in specifics like…
To help take care of my sensitive nervous system, I need to spend a couple of hours alone every day. Sometimes I might meditate to rest my senses or go outside to spend time in nature. There might be times when my system gets too overloaded, and I need to turn down invitations or change plans sometimes. I want you to know you are important to me and if I ever do need to change plans or make adjustments, I hope you can understand these needs are a part of who I am and trust I am ok and need a little quiet time to rest and reset. There is so much information I would love to share with you about this trait so you can know me better.
Here’s a podcast episode we did about the importance of talking about the trait.
(If you struggle to see this trait as a positive, my Courses for Highly Sensitive people might be great for you).
More on the definition of the HSP trait.
More about the brain differences of the HSP
Want to live to your highest potential as an HSP? Do challenges hold you back from using your gifts? Learn how to create healthy boundaries, say no without guilt, get your needs met, and feel more connected. Read the book, The Empowered Highly Sensitive Person. Download your copy now
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Check out the dozens of pages of information on my HSP resources page that I invite you to explore.
Julie Bjelland is a Psychotherapist, host of The HSP Podcast, and Founder of the Sensitive Empowerment Community, whose mission is to create a paradigm shift where sensitivity is embraced, valued and honored. Get a free guide to calm your brain, a letter to give your medical and mental health practitioners about high sensitivity and take the Sensitivity Quiz at JulieBjelland.com ❤️🌈❤️ (she/her)
Some men have expressed frustration about my focus on women’s autism experiences, but this emphasis addresses a longstanding research gap that makes women-centered support essential.