How to Help Others Understand You: A Guide for Sensitive and Neurodivergent Individuals by Julie Bjelland, LMFT

One question that comes up often is: "How do I get someone to understand me?" Navigating the world as a sensitive or neurodivergent person can be challenging, especially when it comes to helping others grasp your unique needs and experiences. While fostering understanding in others is important, it’s equally vital to recognize that not everyone will be willing or able to meet you where you are. Here’s a guide to help you communicate your needs while prioritizing your well-being.

1. Be Honest About Your Needs

Clear and direct communication is essential. When interacting with others, express your needs openly. Whether you need more time to process information, a quieter environment, or space to recharge, being upfront allows others to understand how they can best support you. For instance, you might say, "I need some quiet time to think about this," or "I feel overwhelmed in crowded places and prefer one-on-one interactions."

2. Use Analogies or Examples

Sometimes, abstract concepts can be difficult for others to grasp. Using analogies or personal examples can bridge that gap. For example, you could describe sensory overload as feeling like you’re in a room with blaring music, bright lights, and people talking all at once. This concrete imagery helps others visualize your experience and fosters empathy.

3. Set Boundaries

Boundaries are crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. Let others know what works for you and what doesn’t. For example, if you need alone time after social interactions, communicate that clearly. Boundaries not only protect your well-being but also educate others on how to engage with you in a respectful and supportive manner.

4. Educate Gently

Sharing resources or personal experiences can be a gentle way to help others understand your perspective. For instance, you might explain what sensory overload is and what triggers it so others can better understand your experience. This might involve recommending a book or article, sharing a personal story, or pointing them to a resource page with more information. It’s a way to invite others into your world without overwhelming them. Over time, these educational moments can build a foundation of understanding.

5. Model Behavior

Actions often speak louder than words. Show others how you take care of yourself and manage your sensitivities. If grounding or mindfulness practices are important to you, let others see you doing them. By modeling this behavior, you teach others about your needs without having to explain them constantly.

6. Invite Open Communication

Encourage open dialogue by letting others know they can ask questions if they don’t understand something. This invitation to communicate fosters an environment of curiosity and empathy, leading to deeper understanding and stronger connections.

7. Express Gratitude

When someone makes an effort to understand or accommodate your needs, acknowledge it. Expressing gratitude reinforces positive interactions and encourages ongoing understanding. A simple "thank you for taking the time to listen" can go a long way in nurturing supportive relationships.

8. Stay True to Yourself

Staying authentic and true to yourself is one of the most powerful ways to help others understand you. The more you embrace who you are, the more others will come to appreciate your unique qualities. Remember, your self-worth isn’t determined by others’ understanding but by your own acceptance and love for who you are.

9. Recognize When to Conserve Your Energy

It’s important to acknowledge that some people won’t want to put in the effort to understand you. In those cases, it’s better not to expend your energy trying to change their minds. What’s most important is that you understand yourself and spend time in supportive spaces, like our Sensitive Empowerment Community, where you feel valued and understood.

10. Confidence in Knowing and Meeting Your Needs

When you confidently know and meet your own needs, the pressure to have others understand you diminishes. As you become more attuned to your needs and take steps to fulfill them, you rely less on external validation. This self-assuredness creates a strong foundation where you can engage with others from a place of strength and security rather than seeking their approval or understanding. When you meet your needs with confidence, your energy can be directed toward nurturing yourself and connecting with those who naturally understand and support you.

Closing Thoughts

Helping others understand you as a sensitive or neurodivergent individual is a journey that requires patience, clear communication, and self-compassion. While fostering understanding in others can be rewarding, remember that your well-being comes first. Surround yourself with supportive people who value you for who you are, and invest your energy in spaces where you feel truly seen and heard.

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I’m Julie Bjelland, LMFT

Psychotherapist, author, and founder of Sensitive Empowerment, specializing in high sensitivity, neurodivergence, and adult-discovered autism in women. I love developing tools that balance our sensitive nervous system, reduce challenges, and help us reach our fullest potential so we may excel in our unique talents. I’ve created a global hub of extensive support, including online courses, the Sensitive Empowerment Community—a nurturing sanctuary—a globally top-ranked podcast, articles, free webinars, and more. My passion is helping create a world where differences are embraced as strengths and celebrated. LGBTQIA+ Affirming. Learn more at JulieBjelland.com

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